Johnford sighed, as his plate of Risotto sat in front of him. "I've yet to find a restaurant that gets it right." he thought to himself. Ever since that fateful night when a centaur ran his girlfriend over in a chevy civic, he has simply lost his apatite. "Huh" Johnford scoffed, "You can't make a good risotto in 30 minutes anyway." He paid for the food and stepped out into the early December rain.
A nymph ran over with an umbrella to keep Johnford dry. His whole life he never questioned why the mythological creatures hung around him so much. He assumed it's because he's simply that cool. He thanked the nymph, and they walked to his car. The nymph said, "I know a realm nearby that will really cheer you up!" but Johnford just wanted to get home. "Not today, thanks." he replied. It was the six day anniversary of the centaur running over his girlfriend with a chevy incident, and he always thought there was something strange about that centaur. He just couldn't quite put his finger on it.
Now, Johnford isn't the most gentlemanly of men, but he offered the give the nymph a ride. After all, the rain is picking up, and he really wants to keep the umbrella. He asked, "Where to?" and the nymph gave him cryptic directions through the woods. They reached a stone bridge, but a troll was blocking the path. The nymph was about to say "You need to answer his riddle" but Johnford cut her off. "Ah- this friggin' guy" he said as he stepped out of the car. In a booming voice that shook the trees, the troll said "You must answer my riddle! How do you prepare authentic Louisiana style Gumbo?"
Johnford said "Ah, this again? Hold on, let me grab a pen." and he proceeded to write down the recipe from memory. "Here you go!" he said as he handed the troll a sticky note with the recipe scratched into it. "Sorry my handwriting isn't great."
The troll said "Ah, the roux! I always forget how to make the roux." The then shouts "You may cross my bridge!" Johnford gets back in his car, turns the ignition, and crosses the bridge. The nymph asks if she could have the recipe too, but Johnford was too busy keeping his eyes on the road to write it down a second time. They swiftly approached a second bridge, and Johnford swears out from under it came the exact same troll from the previous bridge. The nymph says "You gotta answer his riddle!" and Johnford sighs, and annoyedly says, "Yeah- I know how this works."
In a booming voice, the troll says "You must answer my riddle! How do you prepare that dish your kind calls, "A Medium Pepporoni Pizza with Extra Cheese!" The nymph calls out from inside the car to write the recipe down twice so she can have it too. Johnford complies, hands them each a sticky note with the recipe, and gets in his car. The nymph asks about some words he either spelled wrong, or perhaps his handwriting is just that bad. In any case, Johnford continues to drive, and he is stopped once more at a bridge.
"Okay, this is the last time, I swear" says the troll. "Ahem. You must answer my riddle! How do you prepare a nice Risotto!" Gasp. The nymph got out of the car and ran up to Johnford in anticipation. Usually Johnford would share the recipe, but his mind was blank. His girlfriend would do all the work for that dish! "I-" Johnford shakily spoke, "I don't know!" The Nymph, Troll, and about 12 other creatures who were eavesdropping all shouted "What?"
Johnford got in his car, said to the nymph "I guess this is as far as I can drive you." turned around and drove off. "Hahaa!" he thought to himself. "I got to keep the umbrella!" Johnford stopped to refill his car's gas on the way home, and had an epiphany. The Centaur who ran over his girlfriend in a chevy civic... he also asked for her risotto recipe! Driving home as fast as he could, all he could think about was the various recipes he has given to the fae. He rushed into his house and pulled out the box of his dead girlfriends belongings. There it was! A small cookbook that she had composed out of sticky notes.
Johnford would be eating a good meal tomorrow! He quickly wrote the recipe down in his own handwriting, and shared it on an online food blog.
Risotto. Feeds 2. 100 minutes of prepping and cooking.
1 Large Onion
4 tablespoons of butter or vegetable oil
2 cups of carnaroli rice
3/4 cup white wine of your choice
6 cups of chicken broth
1/2 cups parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon of fresh chopped parsley
Salt to taste
(Make it a meal by cooking lemon parmesan chicken on the side!)
Chop up the onion as finely as you can. Place the chopped onion in a large cooking pot. Turn the heat to medium and add 2 tablespoons of butter or vegetable oil. In a second pot, begin to heat up the 6 cups of chicken broth. Cook the onion until slightly translucent, and add the 2 cups of carnaroli rice. Stir until the rice is coated in oil, but don't brown the rice. Add the 3/4 cup white wine, and let it simmer until all the liquid is absorbed. Once absorbed, add a ladle of the chicken broth.
The trick is the prepare the rice one ladle of broth at a time, waiting for as much liquid to be absorbed before adding the next. This is a lengthy process that requires constant stirring, though if prepared correctly, the rice will appear creamy. Once the last of the chicken broth has been added to the rice, throw in the last 2 tablespoons of butter or vegetable oil, add the 1/2 cups of parmesan cheese, add in the parsley, and salt to taste. At this point, if you are cooking chicken on the side, begin that now. Take the pot off the heat, and stir for 3 minutes. Let it cool for another 2 minutes, and serve.
UnicodeSnowman2 t1_itwltqi wrote
Reply to [WP] All your life, mythological beings have tried to pick you up. Childhood? Forced adoption. Teenagehood/Adulthood? Marriage. For example, selkies purposefully left their skins where you'd find them; banshees serenade you outside every night. Now at 30, you've learned why you attract them all... by MidgardWyrm
Johnford sighed, as his plate of Risotto sat in front of him. "I've yet to find a restaurant that gets it right." he thought to himself. Ever since that fateful night when a centaur ran his girlfriend over in a chevy civic, he has simply lost his apatite. "Huh" Johnford scoffed, "You can't make a good risotto in 30 minutes anyway." He paid for the food and stepped out into the early December rain.
A nymph ran over with an umbrella to keep Johnford dry. His whole life he never questioned why the mythological creatures hung around him so much. He assumed it's because he's simply that cool. He thanked the nymph, and they walked to his car. The nymph said, "I know a realm nearby that will really cheer you up!" but Johnford just wanted to get home. "Not today, thanks." he replied. It was the six day anniversary of the centaur running over his girlfriend with a chevy incident, and he always thought there was something strange about that centaur. He just couldn't quite put his finger on it.
Now, Johnford isn't the most gentlemanly of men, but he offered the give the nymph a ride. After all, the rain is picking up, and he really wants to keep the umbrella. He asked, "Where to?" and the nymph gave him cryptic directions through the woods. They reached a stone bridge, but a troll was blocking the path. The nymph was about to say "You need to answer his riddle" but Johnford cut her off. "Ah- this friggin' guy" he said as he stepped out of the car. In a booming voice that shook the trees, the troll said "You must answer my riddle! How do you prepare authentic Louisiana style Gumbo?"
Johnford said "Ah, this again? Hold on, let me grab a pen." and he proceeded to write down the recipe from memory. "Here you go!" he said as he handed the troll a sticky note with the recipe scratched into it. "Sorry my handwriting isn't great."
The troll said "Ah, the roux! I always forget how to make the roux." The then shouts "You may cross my bridge!" Johnford gets back in his car, turns the ignition, and crosses the bridge. The nymph asks if she could have the recipe too, but Johnford was too busy keeping his eyes on the road to write it down a second time. They swiftly approached a second bridge, and Johnford swears out from under it came the exact same troll from the previous bridge. The nymph says "You gotta answer his riddle!" and Johnford sighs, and annoyedly says, "Yeah- I know how this works."
In a booming voice, the troll says "You must answer my riddle! How do you prepare that dish your kind calls, "A Medium Pepporoni Pizza with Extra Cheese!" The nymph calls out from inside the car to write the recipe down twice so she can have it too. Johnford complies, hands them each a sticky note with the recipe, and gets in his car. The nymph asks about some words he either spelled wrong, or perhaps his handwriting is just that bad. In any case, Johnford continues to drive, and he is stopped once more at a bridge.
"Okay, this is the last time, I swear" says the troll. "Ahem. You must answer my riddle! How do you prepare a nice Risotto!" Gasp. The nymph got out of the car and ran up to Johnford in anticipation. Usually Johnford would share the recipe, but his mind was blank. His girlfriend would do all the work for that dish! "I-" Johnford shakily spoke, "I don't know!" The Nymph, Troll, and about 12 other creatures who were eavesdropping all shouted "What?"
Johnford got in his car, said to the nymph "I guess this is as far as I can drive you." turned around and drove off. "Hahaa!" he thought to himself. "I got to keep the umbrella!" Johnford stopped to refill his car's gas on the way home, and had an epiphany. The Centaur who ran over his girlfriend in a chevy civic... he also asked for her risotto recipe! Driving home as fast as he could, all he could think about was the various recipes he has given to the fae. He rushed into his house and pulled out the box of his dead girlfriends belongings. There it was! A small cookbook that she had composed out of sticky notes.
Johnford would be eating a good meal tomorrow! He quickly wrote the recipe down in his own handwriting, and shared it on an online food blog.
Risotto. Feeds 2. 100 minutes of prepping and cooking.
1 Large Onion
4 tablespoons of butter or vegetable oil
2 cups of carnaroli rice
3/4 cup white wine of your choice
6 cups of chicken broth
1/2 cups parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon of fresh chopped parsley
Salt to taste
(Make it a meal by cooking lemon parmesan chicken on the side!)
Chop up the onion as finely as you can. Place the chopped onion in a large cooking pot. Turn the heat to medium and add 2 tablespoons of butter or vegetable oil. In a second pot, begin to heat up the 6 cups of chicken broth. Cook the onion until slightly translucent, and add the 2 cups of carnaroli rice. Stir until the rice is coated in oil, but don't brown the rice. Add the 3/4 cup white wine, and let it simmer until all the liquid is absorbed. Once absorbed, add a ladle of the chicken broth.
The trick is the prepare the rice one ladle of broth at a time, waiting for as much liquid to be absorbed before adding the next. This is a lengthy process that requires constant stirring, though if prepared correctly, the rice will appear creamy. Once the last of the chicken broth has been added to the rice, throw in the last 2 tablespoons of butter or vegetable oil, add the 1/2 cups of parmesan cheese, add in the parsley, and salt to taste. At this point, if you are cooking chicken on the side, begin that now. Take the pot off the heat, and stir for 3 minutes. Let it cool for another 2 minutes, and serve.