This metric is just as useless as the phrase you used it to replace

As an experienced hiker, I can say with certainty that summiting the tallest dune near the parking lot was the toughest 90 minute slog of my life.

And I did it with ski goggles, face and ear protection. And crucially, socks.

I saw fools doing it with nothing but a t shirt and shorts and I thought they were insane

This is probably one of the best 15 minute hikes in the world

What was the motive for hiring you?

Thanks homie