I don’t understand why it was an issue if she wasn’t locked out. Is this common with her?

Impossible to advise you with such a vague post.

Bottom line, don’t have sex you don’t want to have.

Yes. She should break up with you if you ask to see her phone and harass her.

Getting on her phone? Just end it since you don’t trust her. Dating someone who is always looking for a problem and is insecure is exhausting.

So…asked and answered. If that’s not a sufficient reason for you then date someone else.

Busy doesn’t mean she can’t do whatever she wants in her free time. Maybe she has a friend in crisis that she’s chatting with. Maybe she just doesn’t have much to say during the day to you.

If you ask to look at her phone though, that’s nuts.

So your idea after noticing a change of 2 days is to demand to invade her privacy?

Couldn’t you instead just tell her you’ve noticed a different and ask her what’s up?

I think the whole thing is ridiculous and that you’re being weird about it—especially at your age. But you get to feel how you feel.

I would absolutely end things if my partner was expecting me to text all day and in a certain amount of time.

If he won’t get help on his own, then I don’t know what to tell you. You can’t make him go. You can only tell him that you need to see improvement else you need to reevaluate the relationship.

You guys could probably benefit from couples counseling too.

I dunno. I don’t understand people who know something is wrong but make no effort to improve things.

Don’t move in with her. You’ll be miserable. And since your husband can’t stand up to his mother, he’s not going to be backing you up.

PTSD presents in a variety of ways. He needs to see a professional to get evaluated and receive help.

I have CPTSD but through years of therapy, it’s pretty well managed. I certainly pulled back from certain people when I was in the thick of it but mostly I just had to be aware of triggers to minimize my anxiety over some things that are totally “normal” to other people.

You need to save up your money and make an exit plan.

I would not recommend using rover. Too much liability if it goes south and I’ve seen it go pretty south. If anything, I’d board her at her vet or a proper boarding facility. If she’s a puppy though, she may not be up to date on all of her vaccines in order to board safely.

Most people would love to get out of having to sit through a long graduation ceremony. He’s having a “pick me” moment. I wouldn’t entertain it. He’s being ridiculous.

Ugh. That sucks.

If she’s barking and you work from home and have to do meetings then I get it. Probably time to tell friend that doggo needs to go somewhere—either another friend or a boarding kennel as it’s impacting your ability to do your job.

I mean….sure you can call your hospitalized friend and tell her that she needs to find someone else to keep the dog. But honestly, if she had someone else, she probably would’ve asked them.

What is the dog doing that is so annoying? If she’s distracting you from work, put her in another room like the bathroom and put on some music or a fan and let her settle. Or go give her a proper walk so she’s tired enough to nap. I dunno.

I think it would be pretty shit to make more trouble for her when she’s down and out already but if you can’t manage the dog then I suppose you need to.

I don’t understand. If he’s at work and you’re at work, it’s really not an appropriate time for a chat.

I don’t text or call my partner during the day unless it’s an emergency. I don’t even check texts during my work day. It’s distracting.

If that’s something you need, maybe date someone who doesn’t have a job and can be at your beck and call.

I read your post. Things were not good even when you had time together. This one has run its course.

Tell him it’s a hotel or air bnb or…you’ll just stay home.

You don’t owe him to stay in a gross house.

You two just aren’t compatible. I don’t think anything would have improved by living together. I think there are more issues in this relationship than distance.

That’s really not your problem. She can sort it out. You can pay her back later if you want to. But going on the trip would be wrong unless she wants to have you there as friends.

He doesn’t have a therapist, he’s doing nothing to help himself, and you want to take it upon yourself to “help” him. That’s a project. And as you’re not a medical professional nor a therapist, I think it’s kind of an inflated sense of self to think you can fix this.

He’s an adult. I really don’t understand why you’d stick around for this.

Make your move out plan, then tell her that you care about her and have enjoyed the time together but it just doesn’t feel like a good fit and that you’re moving out on X day.

Do it before the trip. She can invite someone else.

The purpose of dating is to see if you’re a good fit, not to pick up a project and try to change someone.

Your partner has no business even being in a relationship at this time. They need to be working with a therapist and their doctor and focusing on themselves.

I would recommend that you end things and be one less thing for him to have to worry about while he tackles his mental health—especially given how it’s impacting you.

Not sure what advice you’re after. You’re an adult and she doesn’t get to tell you what you can or cannot do. She can end a relationship if she is unhappy with things but she doesn’t get to dictate how you spend your free time.

It’s dancing. No one is going to slip and fall on a dick during a dance class.

Do you plan an actual date or activity?

You’re not a passenger in this relationship. If it’s not working for you, do something different or end it.

Why do you keep telling her? Are you telling her that so and so thinks she’s wrong or something? I just can’t imagine why you’d be bringing up these discussions to begin with.

It’s normal for people to discuss their personal life with their friends and family.

What is her actual issue with it? Does she feel like she’s being painted in a bad light?