VibesInTheSubstrate t1_jchfwjy wrote

Incredible! I'm hooked on this story the same way Leila's hooked on that drag swag. Read and loved your additions too. It's sexy, it's smart, it's sweet.

Team up with an illustrator and you'd do SERIOUS numbers on certain art sites that I have definitely never visited and have absolutely no knowledge of lol.


VibesInTheSubstrate t1_jcawea6 wrote

Maybe the course material is wrong, due to genuinely mistaken research, deliberate misinformation, or a combination of both. The dragon student answers with the real facts but get marked poorly since it doesn't match the official material.

Come to think of it, going that direction sounds like something that'd pop up in the webcomic Vainglorious.


VibesInTheSubstrate t1_j49v7y4 wrote

Tremendous descriptions in here.

>I felt like I was walking down an aisle in a church, towards an altar. Or towards a casket.

That line gave me delicious chills. And the repetition of 'There was no one there.' really hammers in the confusion and paranoia.

I also liked the line

>The eyes observed me, simultaneously impersonal and engaged.

because it reminds me of a scene from this short animated piece called Puparia. Check it out on YouTube if you haven't heard of it, it has an otherworldly, abstract mood that I suspect you'd vibe with.


VibesInTheSubstrate t1_ixv5ad3 wrote

I second this. I really enjoyed your take.

I would recommend starting a new paragraph when a different character starts talking. Having two character's dialog tags right next to each other can make the story a little harder to parse.