Waitsfornoone t1_jefvkod wrote on March 31, 2023 at 6:36 PM

Reply to Don't forget that today is April Fools! by MothAliens

Apparently, jokes on OP.

Waitsfornoone t1_jef391x wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:31 PM

Reply to Why can’t you tell a joke to a kleptomaniac? by TheJpow

TIL that Lisa Lampanelli is a kleptomaniac.

Waitsfornoone t1_jef2m22 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:27 PM

Reply to King: How many volunteers do we have for my evil army? by TimeVendor

Squire to Kennel Master: "Release the shepherds!"

Waitsfornoone t1_jef2c42 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:25 PM

Reply to My doctor told me that I had a healthy prostate. by 1963Jan

I just got my prostate examined. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.

Waitsfornoone t1_jeeo1fw wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:49 PM

Reply to comment by [deleted] in I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest

r/nonsequitur

Waitsfornoone t1_jeenw15 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:48 PM

Reply to comment by NDodma01 in A man walks into a bar and orders a beer by jonest27

Well, someone got irate about it.

Waitsfornoone t1_jeea6r5 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 11:55 AM

Reply to comment by Irate_Alligate1 in A man walks into a bar and orders a beer by jonest27

Because the first three were by Karma Fishing Bots, all of which are obviously defective.

Waitsfornoone t1_jec4tm1 wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:53 PM

Reply to comment by Warlornn in I’m not paying 5k for a dog unless it’s Brian Griffin by [deleted]

Point made.

Waitsfornoone t1_jec4lkm wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:52 PM

Reply to I was actually named after Trump... by Keyaru_The_Healer20

Sure ... Donald!

Waitsfornoone t1_jec441i wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:48 PM

Reply to comment by skimdiameter75 in I was actually named after Trump... by Keyaru_The_Healer20

Another Karma bot that needs reprogramming.

Waitsfornoone t1_jec3yi4 wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:47 PM

Reply to comment by SmackEh in What do you call a black man who flies an airplane? by Last_Fact_3044

Why ask why?

Waitsfornoone t1_jec3rzy wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:46 PM

Reply to What do you call a really fast sheep? by Old-Refrigerator340

What do you call 4 sheep tied to a fence in Wales? A Brothel.

Waitsfornoone t1_jebfxdz wrote on March 30, 2023 at 8:08 PM

Reply to comment by allnightdisco in What happens if you commit a crime in Australia? by Awesomeuser90

That's what she said ...

Waitsfornoone t1_jebekgo wrote on March 30, 2023 at 8:00 PM

Reply to comment by KingBooRadley in What’s a good title for necrophilia porn? by KFCfan05

Or just fucking some scrambled eggs.

Waitsfornoone t1_jea61xq wrote on March 30, 2023 at 3:13 PM

Reply to I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest

Why do we feel a need to call people out for being lazy? It's not like they did anything.

Waitsfornoone t1_je9pjcq wrote on March 30, 2023 at 1:11 PM

Reply to comment by [deleted] in My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali

You're presuming the dog is agreeable to such beastilogy.

Waitsfornoone t1_je7ickc wrote on March 29, 2023 at 11:40 PM

Reply to This is terrible but I'm proud of it because I worked on it last night until I thought it was funny. Wow, what a great way to introduce a joke. by wafflesareforever

Credit for trying.

As they say in show business: "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."

Waitsfornoone t1_je7gx59 wrote on March 29, 2023 at 11:29 PM

Reply to comment by peter_the_martian in My wife and I are a same sex couple by RealBowtie

Jackson Browne wrote a song about it: "Rosie."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5Zp3jtJ_Mc

Waitsfornoone t1_je6upxu wrote on March 29, 2023 at 8:51 PM

Reply to A mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer by JustMusic-YouTube

Simpler: Just roll down the windows, and then roll backup again.

Waitsfornoone t1_je2dxgt wrote on March 28, 2023 at 10:23 PM

Reply to comment by regrettablyold in [ Removed by Reddit ] by noOne000Br

TIL Cousin It is really from the Itt family, and they have nothing to do with the digital world we live in.

Waitsfornoone t1_je2138o wrote on March 28, 2023 at 8:57 PM

Reply to [ Removed by Reddit ] by noOne000Br

Cousin It's father.

Waitsfornoone t1_je20ulj wrote on March 28, 2023 at 8:56 PM

Reply to Nobody was scared when the clown invasion started at the beach by Dingleburrs

Ten minutes later, when the clowns kept coming out of that boat, no one found it the least bit funny.

Waitsfornoone t1_je081ta wrote on March 28, 2023 at 2:06 PM

Reply to comment by Jacobizreal in What kind of degree does a shipyard recieve? by Ethan_Blank687

Down the street is the local brothel, where they trade Dicks and Blondes.

Waitsfornoone t1_je07wg1 wrote on March 28, 2023 at 2:05 PM

Reply to comment by Philcycles84 in What kind of degree does a shipyard recieve? by Ethan_Blank687

Plus you can have all the friendship you want when you invite people onto your mega yacht,

Waitsfornoone t1_je06rme wrote on March 28, 2023 at 1:57 PM

Reply to comment by whyamihere999 in This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. by joke_channel

Ha! You make it sound like the Canadian version of the movie 'High Noon'.