Well_Jung_One

Well_Jung_One t1_jaedooa wrote

It is my pleasure to be helpful but please remember it's all just my opinion and I'm just a random guy on the internet. You have to go with your gut on things and make your judgements as best as you can in the end regardless of what anyone else says.

It's easier to bail out of a relationship before marriage than it is after, so always be cautious and take care of yourself first by listening to your gut. The universe is always trying to guide you as long as you are willing to listen. Good luck with everything and take care of yourself.

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Well_Jung_One t1_jaeck6s wrote

It is also possible that he has serious self confidence issues he is hiding. Sometimes people try to tear down others because they feel inferior. Either way, I think he at least partially means the jokes.

Does he shows signs of serious self confidence issues in any other way? Has he had a traumatic past? Have you expanded on his claims that you are being combative/tit-for-tat at all? Meaning: have he given you any kind of reasonable explanation as to why he thinks you doing the same thing he is doing is combative/tit-for-tat or do you typically just say you aren't being that way and it gets dropped?

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Well_Jung_One t1_jaebywf wrote

That changes my opinion. If he talks like that to people like service workers, then there is truly a bigger issue. I truly feel that people who mistreat people like service workers/wait staff/etc and/or animals are not good people at heart. If he truly is like this with service workers, then I take it all back. You have a legit reason to be concerned that he is hiding deeper anger issues that will one day be directed at you... and, in my random opinion (without really knowing the person) he's not a good person deep down inside.

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Well_Jung_One t1_jae9ipi wrote

I doubt my opinion on this will be popular but I am going to offer it anyway.

I think you are being too sensitive. If he doesn't treat/talk to you that way under any other circumstances, then I don't see the instances as an over-all issue. Sounds like he might be taking gaming a bit too serious (I'm not a gamer so of course I feel this way) but I don't think this is indicative of someone who is otherwise predisposed to being abusive/violent.

My analogy may be totally off, but it's like saying someone is likely to physically abuse you because they pushed you out of the way of an object falling on you that would only cause you minimal harm if it hit you. I'm sure everyone is going to shoot all kinds of holes in my analogy and that's ok. It's all subjective anyway.

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Well_Jung_One t1_jae8gbb wrote

I'm sorry because he at least partially means all of the jokes he makes. It sounds like he at least has some narcissistic tendencies too. I'd be careful with him.

Does he ever make self-deprecating jokes? If he does, then I could be a bit wrong on my assessment. Just be careful either way because it seems like something trivial but I personally feel it is indicative of bigger personality issues with him and of a lack of respect for you that may be more deep-seated than you realize.

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