XasiAlDena t1_j2edprq wrote

If you were to imagine two angels cruising through the wilderness on a beautiful summer's day, you'd probably imagine a scene vastly different to the one currently unfolding...

"HURRY UP CLYDE WE'RE GONNA MISS HIM!" Angelica screamed at her coworker from the passenger seat of the small, inconspicuous truck as they tracked their next job.

Well, ordinarily they'd be inconspicuous. The Truck was perfectly designed to blend into the urban environment that they usually operated in, which meant they stuck out like sore thumbs on this backcountry dirt road. Luckily there was nobody around for miles to find their presence odd.

"I know we're running behind, which is WHY I need you giving me DIRECTIONS! You said he'd be on this road, but we've been driving for forty minutes and I ain't seen shit!" Clyde was usually the most laid-back of the two, and his uncharacteristic anger just served to put the pair even more on edge.

Being late on a delivery was bad news, cosmically speaking. Some really high up beings could get really pissed off.

"This stupid Calling Stone isn't working! Either that or this kid is literally lost in the middle of the fucking forest! The Stone's saying he's 2 miles, 3 o'clock, but the road should get us there eventually..."

At that moment, Clyde felt a buzzing in his pocket. Taking one hand off the wheel he fumbled for his phone and checked the alert, confirming his worst fears. "Fuck. We're not gonna make it, they've already begun the Summoning Ritual."

"SHIT! What do we do?!"

"We're gonna have to risk it for the biscuit. Hold onto your halo." Clyde gripped the wheel and yanked hard right, swerving the Truck off the road and barreling through the dense foliage at breakneck speed.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Angelica wittily replied.

As the Truck raced through the thick forest, space almost seemed to distort around it allowing the otherwise bulky vehicle to fit through the trees with supernatural - and scientifically offensive - precision. A small ring of glowing energy appeared above Clyde's head as he guided the Truck through the maze of trunks.

"We can still make it! Gonna have to break a few speeding laws, don't let the Physics department find out about this!"

Invisible to any observers, but not the divine delivery drivers, a faint sheen of energy began to appear around the Truck, coating every inch of its surface. The Summoning Ritual was ready...

"FIFTY METERS!" Angelica cried. "We're gonna make it, I can't believe we're actually gonna-"


- - -

"Oh fuck. OH FUCK! OH SHITFUCK! WE'RE SO SCREWED!" Angelica cried.

Lying on the ground in front of the slightly dinged Truck wasn't the body of an unsuspecting high-schooler like they'd been expecting. No, the kid stood off to the side, looking slightly dazed but otherwise in perfect health. Instead what lay on the ground was the body of a full-grown grizzly bear, dead as a doornail.

Clyde pinched the bridge of his nose, attempting to stave off the headache that was threatening to take hold. He took a deep breath, trying to assess the situation objectively.

Objectively, they were screwed. He briefly considered attempting again to run the kid over, just in case. But the Summoning was a one-time use spell. They'd have to recast it from the other end in order for that to work. He did also consider just running the kid over for being all the way out in the middle of the fucking forest. Like what the heck man? Why?

"Erm- are you guys... okay?" The kid asked, eyeing the bent bumper of the Truck. "I think you just s- s- saved my life from that bear."

"Oh just shut it kid!" Angelica snapped, "I've had quite enough from you, you lucky bastard! Next time someone wants to summon you, why don't you just have the decency to be in a more populated, civilized, area like everyone else, huh?! Making my job a pain in the ass!"

"W- what?"

"Just leave him." Clyde said. "There's nothing for it now. Besides, it could be worse, at least we managed to send something instead of missing the order completely."

"But, but... this isn't right! The plan, the timelines, fate, destiny! Everything's off now!"

"Angie, when you've been in this business as long as I have, you come to realize that all that fate nonsense is nowhere near as strict as you think it is. It's all improv on the spot, hardly any real concrete planning at all."


"For our sake, I fucking hope so."

EDIT: Spelling