Xoor t1_j850jt9 wrote

To follow up on that, there's a huge difference between what a person says they want and what their actions show that they are capable of handling. At least if you're obviously incompatible, it's easy to recognize. Less obvious is when you both agree on what you want but one party just doesn't put serious effort in and you're left doing everything. What your partner does and how they act matters as much as what they say they want to do and who they say they want to be.