He means he is going to tape it to his ass cheek, but it would be funnier if they found it in his colon.

The tire hits the first wire and after it hits the second wire it calculates the time it took so it knows the speed

They count traffic but I think they also tell you how fast a car is going to check for speeding. It's funny to think of them looking for speeders in a bike lane.

My cat was an indoor/outdoor cat when I was in high school and they would swoop at her all the time so when I was walking to my bus stop she would follow close to my legs so they would leave her alone. One day I had enough so after school I took my pellet gun and shot one in the wing. My cat took care of the rest and they left her alone after that. I know they are over protective of their nests. I don't care about that if you are hurting my cat.

Classic Adrenalin junkie, spreading his legs to slow down to get the most of the jump.

Wawa is kicking the shit out of Sheetz

Mom has learned to sleep sitting up, she has leveled up in motherhood, now that they are big enough to take care of themselves the next one will be knowing she can jump higher than them and can take a proper nap from high ground.

Well it looks like he is coming back with some friends no less.

Teeth hitting teeth... Cringing just remembering that.

I don't know if she was going for cute or scary (those eyes are haunting) impressive none the less.