No she looked at me like "nice try" not that you are really in the mood because your cock tissue is dying.

Well after the penis massage didn't work and the meds didn't either the on call urologist showed up reeking of margaritas and guacamole because of course this was Cinco de mayo. I was on a lot of that fent stuff that's popular with the kids these days so I didn't care. There wasn't enough drugs in the world to make them shooting up my dick veins with saline and some other medications and then sucking it back over and over again. They kept try because the next step was surgery and I think we all appreciated the idea of doctor fajita breath opening my dick.

It finally worked and my knob was an enormous knot of bruises. I would kill for that size. The nursing staff assured me that they see this thing all the time but I've been in the emergency room several times and not once has half the medical staff walked into my room to take a look.

I wish that was the worst part.

A few years ago I was taking a medication with priapism being a rare unknown side effect. I woke up with a painful erection and it wasn't going away. Well after the 4 hour mark and an awkward conversation with my then girlfriend we went to the emergency room.

It was awkward enough having to check in with a waiting room full of people hearing me. I was praying the doctor would be a man in his 70s. Instead it was a tall attractive young blonde.

0/10 penis massage.