ashleymcglamour

ashleymcglamour t1_j0y5nnv wrote

Jennette could barely breathe, she was so frustrated.
She was pacing back and forth in front of Shawn. She was so tired of hiding the fact that she was so madly in love with this man. She couldn’t tell him, as he was still clearly hurting after having his heart broken by Belinda almost two months earlier. He caught Belinda in bed with Marcus, who was supposed to be Shawn’s best friend. Welp, at least Belinda saved Shawn hella money by cheating…Shawn was set to buy her an engagement ring. Hell, no.
Jennette and Shawn had known each other through karaoke, their favorite hobby, for the last two years. Over the last couple of months, Shawn had confided in Jennette everything going on with the demise of his relationship with Belinda. Shawn found Jennette so easy to talk to. Jennette didn’t mind…she knew what it was like to have her heart completely shattered. She appreciated the support she’d had and promised God she would someday return the favor. Jennette came to find Shawn kind, open minded…charming…hilarious. Soon enough, she found herself falling for him.
Shawn didn’t want Belinda back…but he also wished she knew how incredibly hurtful her actions were. He wished she felt how he had felt. He had expressed this to Jennette numerous times. Jennette had been empathetic and never tried to deny Shawn the space to express himself. It took Jennette so much energy not to tell Shawn that it was killing her to see him hurting like this…she didn’t want to make their friendship awkward…but the heart wants what it wants.
Today was when the shit hit the fan. Shawn was ranting to Jennette again about heartbreak in general. He felt he would be done with love for good. That he SHOULD be done with love for good.
“Shawn, you’re 34. My mom is 20 years older than you and is marrying her soulmate within a month. I just….” Jennette stammered. She took a breath…Shawn started at the floor in front of him. Jennette waited for him to glance her way. Nothing. She flailed her arms.
“I…Jenn, there’s nothing more that I need to say. I am too afraid to go through all of this shit again.”
Jennette continued to pace. She was wringing her hands. She realized she was in too deep and backing out wasn’t going to be an option. But she wasn’t sure what to say next…
Shawn was confused as to why Jennette seemed so invested in getting him to open up his heart again. Why was she so frustrated?
“Shawn, you can’t let that bitch ruin love for you. You shouldn’t let any woman who breaks your heart ruin love for you,” Jennette finally replied, voice shaking from nerves.
“I’m not letting that bitch do anything. The fuck are you….are you okay?”
“No, Shawn. Okay…I, I just…” Jennette’s hands fell to her sides. “I’m not.”
‘What the fuck…’ Shawn thought. He stood up. “I don’t get why you are so into this. You’ve been acting weird lately.”
Jennette stopped and looked at Shawn as though he grew another set of legs. Shawn continued. “You’ve been so supportive with listening and advice, but today you seem frustrated with it. I don’t give two shits about Belinda. I just…” Shawn took a hit of his vape, “I just need to just let myself believe karma will take care of it and relax.” Shawn couldn’t tell Jennette the truth…he was enamored with her. He loved her light brown hair, long legs and beautiful curves. Her heart was even sweeter and sexier.
Jennette shook her head and rolled her eyes. “So then why don’t you?”
“Why…wha…what does it matter?”
“I just…” Jennette took a breath…”I hate to see you like this. It’s starting to kill me.”
“I appreciate the support, Jenn, I really do. I just don’t don’t think love is worth it. Maybe my mind’ll change someday…I don’t fuckin’ know…Maybe love just isn’t worth my time?”
Jennette was tired of this. She accepted the risk of lookin absolutely crazy….but worried about the dynamics of the connection she had with Shawn would change negatively. She turned to Shawn.
“You’re fucking ridiculous,” Jennette replied, walking closer to Shawn. “This is bullshit.”
Shawn wasn’t sure what he was hearing. “Excuse me?”
Jennette gently grabbed Shawns face, and kissed him for a few seconds. It was a kiss of love, passion, and pent up frustration. Shawn was still bewildered by what Jennette had said. It took him a few more seconds before he could begin to process what had even happened next.
‘Jennette just kissed me mid-rant,’ thought Shawn, ‘…what the fuck?’ Shawn couldn’t make sense of what had all happened within the last minute. He thought Jennette was acting weird.
“How…how dare you kiss me? The fuck is….” Shawn wasn’t sure what to say. He trailed off realizing what Jennette had done, and he was stunned silent once again.
Jennette was stunned by his reaction. She assumed he wasn’t happy with her…was the friendship over? Did she cross a line? She felt incredibly mortified. She felt the need to leave Shawn’s apartment.
“Oh my God,” she gasped, looking at Shawn, “I’m so sorry.” She grabbed her coat and started heading for the door.
Shawn didn’t want her to go. ‘Holy, shit….she wanted me, too…just like I want her…’, thought Shawn. ‘Fuck, I’m an asshole! FUCK!’ He wasn’t sure what to say to Jennette to make her stop.
Jennette opened the door and started for the hall. She made it halfway to the elevator when she felt someone grab her wrist.
Shawn.
Jennette felt as though she was going to have a panic attack. She was so embarrassed. She was on the verge of tears. Shawn sensed her panic. He gently cupped her face in his hands.
“Do it again.”
Jennette wasn’t sure if he was serious. “What?”
Shawn smiled. “This,” he whispered, as he kissed Jennette softly. Jennette almost became a puddle in that moment. When they broke apart, Jennette couldn’t speak for a moment…she took Shawn’s and they walked back towards his apartment. When they got back inside, Jennette shut the door and wouldn’t let Shawn’s hand go immediately.
“Wow,” Jennette said, beaming.
Shawn placed his hands on Jennette’s waist. “I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks now…I was nervous to tell you…didn’t want to turn you away.”
Jennette placed her arms around Shawn. “Turn me away? No…that was way too fun.
Shawn was hungry for more. “Do it again…?”
Jennette smiled, as they locked lips passionately.

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