>I feel like I’m on a ship heading straight for a rogue wave because my partner never takes accountability

Let's add to that that you aren't taking accountability either.

You've been watching your partner be a trainwreck for years. This isn't a recent change. She showed up on your doorstep claiming one thing and then proved to be soemthing, and then you brushed that off for five years.

Gosh, good luck getting out of this mess. Find some help and dig yourself out.

>He brought it up now though, saying that “If we are going to continue dating it’s something I have to get used to.”

Not sure how much more clear he can be.

If you're going to be with him, you'll have to deal with visiting his hoarder mommy.

And that this issue is enough to bring you to "not talking" ... why are you bothering trying to continue the relationship? If it were a great partnership, you'd be talking through compromise or how to work with Mom to straighten out her life, but instead, he's hunkering down and you're just not talking to him.

Yeah, I suppose.

But if I were to have chosen a young adulthood of amazing financial responsibility ... I would sure have a nice bit of savings, but would always be wondering "What If?"

Something like the Humane Society would have someone who would be able to help with an estate gift like this.

For some couples, yes.

For all couples, no.

You get to decide if NYE is something that you want as a "couples" holiday.