Also, you might want to watch your autocorrect: I think it must have changed "Shahid" to "Rashid" once in your comment.

Hey Blu_Spirit, thanks for the crit!

I'm going to ask you a question. How much did I actually describe Shahid and the compound, and how much did I let the reader fill in? I don't believe I described the compound that much, and the only concrete details I gave of Shahid's appearance were his height (6'4" or 193 cm) and build ("giant").

Thanks for pointing out that paragraph, though. It contained a lot of exposition awkwardly crammed into a very small space, and your suggestion got me to come up with a much better- and even more concise- formulation.

I now explain why Keener, the sniper, is credited with saving Shahid: she shot the guy who was about to execute him. That said, she's definitely the best shot, and probably the brains of the squad- snipers have to do a surprising amount of math to line up their shot. Honestly, I wish I could have talked more about Keener, but it just didn't feel right for this story. I've had both her and Shahid in my head for way, way too long, and I'm a bit glad I finally got to put them down on (virtual) paper.

Hey Fye! Thanks for the crit.

The rescue was definitely one of the harder parts of the story to write, so I'm glad you liked it. To me, there's only so much battle you can describe before "W shot X and Y, Z blew A up with a grenade..." becomes stale. I did tweak what Shahid did in the midst of this battle, due to a bit of an inconsistency between the story and my head. For some reason, I imagined Shahid tied to a stake, which would make it much harder for him to do anything; upon rereading the story, I realized he was actually kneeling when his executioner gets shot. Unfortunately, his hands and legs are still bound, so there's not a lot he can do.

I've also added a few more descriptions of both Shahid's rescuer and the desert sunset. Trimming out some wordy description and fixing an awkward paragraph left me with just enough to describe a desert sunset and one of Shahid's rescuers.

“Move!”

Shahid took wobbly steps out of the dungeon, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the brilliant desert sun. Though it was dusk, after being held in a windowless cell for twenty-eight days, he wasn't used to the light.

The guard prodded him in the back with the barrel of a rifle, pointing him toward a spot in the compound far away from any of the buildings. Dried blood stained the ground all about it.

As he shambled over, he took some grim satisfaction at the guards’ evident fear of him. The extremists that had captured him to cover up their horrific crimes clearly hadn’t expected a six-foot-four giant wielding a telephoto lens as a flail. He’d taken three out of commission before being brought down.

At last, Shahid reached the bloody spot. One of the guards smashed his shins with a baton, and another rammed the butt of a rifle into his back, driving him to his knees. They put a sack on his head, and began speaking; he recognized their words as a prayer for the dead. He offered up a silent prayer of his own.

If I am to die here, let me be a martyr for the truth. However, if life is still good for me, oh most merciful one, then let me live!

The executioner’s blade touched his neck. Shahid held his breath, waiting for the end.

Instead, he felt a thump, then heard yelling from the guards. Gunfire erupted near him, first in staccato bursts, gradually morphing into a continuous din. He then heard a distant explosion, followed by screams. As the battle raged on, Shahid laid on the bloodstained ground, still as death, trying not to attract attention, hoping against hope no stray fire would hit him. As the thunder of guns waned, he heard nearby footsteps, and felt a hand on his back.

“He’s alive!”

The shackles on his hands and feet were undone, the sack was roughly pulled off his head, and he found himself looking at a young man in a sand-brown military uniform.

“Can you walk?”

Shahid nodded.

“Excellent. Come with me!”

The other man put an arm around Shahid’s back, and jogged him over to an idling truck. Slamming the door shut, he waved as the truck drove away.

Shahid waited for his heart to stop racing, then spoke.

“Thank you for saving me.”

A seasoned-looking soldier spoke up. “Well, Mister…”

“Shahid al-Sadiqi.”

“Mr. al-Sadiqi, I can’t take credit for that.”

The vehicle slowed to a stop, and another soldier climbed in, a large rifle slung across their back. They doffed a sand-covered camouflage suit, revealing a youngish woman with skin bronzed by the desert sun.

“She’s the one you need to thank. She shot your would-be executioner.”

“I see.” Shahid raised his voice. “Miss…” he peered at the woman’s uniform, “…Keener?”

The sniper’s cold grey eyes locked onto his own. “Yes?”

“Thank you for saving my life.”

She nodded. “Just doing my job.”

******

WC: 496. Feedback welcome!

“Are you Casey Shen?”

“That’s me.”

“Electrical engineer, specializing in radio-frequency analysis, at Johnson and Rich Aeronautics?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Originally from St. Joseph, moved to Engelsheim for work?”

“Yup.”

“Excellent. Mr. Shen, my name is Miles van Recht, and I’m a prosecutor for the City of Engelsheim. If my reports are to be believed, you’ve caused us quite a bit of trouble.”

“With all due respect, I still don’t know why you have me here.”

Miles knit his fingers. “Have you heard of Nighthawk?”

A smirk crossed Casey’s face. “Course I have. Didn’t they force some politician to confess his crimes on live television?”

“Yes, that’s the one.”

“Seems like a good person. Why are you chasing them?”

“Well, they stole $1.17 billion from Lawrence Waters.”

“Waters can afford it. Besides, didn’t you find it?”

“We did- in the bank accounts of over eighteen thousand of the employees Waters had just laid off. This case is grand theft on an almost unprecedented scale. We must bring Nighthawk to justice.”

Casey scowled. “I think Nighthawk just ticked off a bunch of rich jerks, and now, like a good little soldier, you need to make your masters happy.”

Miles pressed on. “Didn’t you work for Waters? Here, on your resume, it says you worked for one of his companies.”

“I did. So what? You think I’m Nighthawk because we both have some beef with Waters? I can give you eighteen thousand others who do.”

Miles shook his head. “I’m not done yet. Nighthawk also unlawfully breached Waters’s privacy.” He pulled out a small circuit board. “Do you know what this is?”

Casey peered closely at it. “I do, but any tinkerer worth their salt could tell you it’s a camera.” He pointed at the lens.

“It’s not just a camera. It transmits a video stream wirelessly to an off-board recording device, which can be anywhere within five hundred yards of it.”

“Your point?”

“Well, it’d take a pretty skilled electrical engineer to rig up something like this, wouldn’t it? Perhaps one with a background in radio transmissions?”

Casey shook his head. “You really think I’m Nighthawk.”

“You seem a likely candidate.”

“So, based on that, you barge into my home in the dead of night, haul me away in cuffs, and interrogate me in this dungeon?”

“Mr. Shen-”

“What happened to ‘innocent until proven guilty’?”

“Calm down, Mr. Shen.”

“Besides, I didn’t hear you complaining when they helped you catch the art forger, or bring down that trafficking ring. Or didn’t you see those calling cards Nighthawk left for you?”

“Nighthawk is one of the biggest thieves of all time!”

“So is Waters! You don’t become as rich as he is without being one.” Casey took a deep breath, and leaned forward. “You're a man of justice, Prosecutor van Recht. I trust you will bring in the right thief."

WC: 476. Feedback welcome!

Hey LR80, congrats on the spotlight!

I remember getting some of your crit (my story for the Valor TT), and it was pretty insightful: highlighting what I've done well as well as what I've done poorly, so I know what to stick with.

I see you're a fellow Science Fiction fan! Got any suggestions for someone else who likes the genre? I've read Asimov, some Orwell, and some Bradbury myself.

And finally, since you're such a fan of curveballs (and sci-fi): What are your views on space travel?