The fact that he hid it from you in the first place changes a lot; its like you said, he had time to communicate this to you and failed to do so because of how you'd react or fear of losing you.

Besides the point, the cards are essentially in your hand right now, you have the power and make him regain your trust with actions. Start over.

However, for now id just fake it til you make it, when you feel yourself getting upset or triggered by one of his actions, take a step back and tell ask yourself why and maybe try to explain it to him without upsetting yourself.

so he lied?

Honestly, he's disrespected you. As much as you want to forgive him and move on, its always going to be in the back of your head. Your perception of him has already been altered and he's continuing to push your boundaries.

A person can only take so much so the fact that you reacted the way you did can only tell yourself that you've had enough.

Find the strength within yourself to just leave and move on, its for your own best interest tbh.

Narcissists only get upset at you because they get caught up in their own actions, you've done everything right. Always trust your gut!

There has to be more to the story here.

Does she have a reason to not trust you going?