I always hope that a movie can come up with the clever twists and turns that Black Mirror makes. And it never happens.

I hold out way too much hope for clever writing.

Like watching a M. Night Shyamalan movie, and you and all your friends came up with better plot twists that we all tried to guess before watching.

Also, as per usual, they give away everything in the trailer. On the surface, it looks like disappointment. Killer doll goes on a killing spree for funsies. The end.

I envision a plot where the doll becomes “evil” purely by downloading and absorbing social media & news. That would be an interesting “Black Mirror” sort of social commentary.

That’s not going to happen.

I got one of the Olsen twins. Before drugs, eating disorders, marriages to oligarchs. Or maybe now, I don’t know what their plastic surgery regimen looks like.

That was them, right? Nevermind, I suddenly stopped caring.

Indiana Jones: “IT BELONGS IN A MUSEU…hm. Y’know, I think I’m going to sit this one out.”