Hey, have you considered that the feeling that you don’t deserve anything good was taught to you? Considering and I mean connecting the dots here from how you feel bound to your mother, that she potentially taught you that? And realistically, how does one single person have a say in your entire sense of self, present and future? I don’t see how genes and blood is related to anything about what you’re feeling, considering the strong underlying sense that you need to be like your mother for no reason! You do not actually need to agree with what you were taught. And you actively try as you mentioned, to learn new things and be better. “Nobody believes in me”, Of course nobody believes you, because you yourself don’t have a strong sense of yourself enough to separate yourself from what your mother is, and feel like you will just be like your mother. It is unfair, that is how it is because others around you will only observe what you show them. And if you behave in a manner that is attached to your mother so deeply that you feel nobody knows you, and that you worry you only think you’re like your mother, I mean what do you think it shows and reflects of you on the outside? People who are responsible for you should do better in recognising this, but it’s a reality isn’t it, that it’s tough what you’re going through and it surely doesn’t seem to be changing. But you recognising it is definitely right, and I wish you the best on what you’re going through, I just wanted to comment cuz it kind of related to me in my past as well.

Sorry for the confusion, I didn’t read ur previous reply I just sort of added onto my comment. But yeah, i mean in the short-term having that arrogance does help push you forwards. And you do it with that intent of wanting to be someone better as well, which I can see from your post, and with my experience as well, that that way of thinking has got something to do with self improvement haha.

If you were really drowning in life, I mean you need all the push you can get right

The arrogance examples you used were funny, I use a similar method as you lmao in that I push myself with motivating words and thoughts, and thinking highly of myself. This is not to actually become that made-up grand person in my head, it is very clearly fiction, but telling those stories gives you purpose- especially if you’re someone who feels unstable in their own selves and unsure. Doing that in the past has helped me get a grip of myself, and now I can better recognise all the blessings I have in my life already, to be grateful for and to jump on the opportunity to prove that gratitude by being modest and helpful to others. So yea, I dunno if this relates to u or

They’re both metaphors for personal growth

What does that even mean

Productivity is not exclusive to work. So that’s where that imbalance may have struck you.

It’s a balance between hard working nature + being steady and focused so as not to get overwhelmed.