They don't need to be pushy. They just need to be friendly enough to attract lonely and vulnerable people, since people that already have established support networks are far more resistant to the brainwashing.

Their primary recruiting tactic is lovebombing. They flood vulnerable people with friendliness and a sense of belonging. This is especially effective on people that don't really have many connections otherwise, so it allows them to hold that person's social life hostage once the love starts becoming conditional.