My husband and I actually went through a couples training on this topic once as part of an “Adventure Challenge.”
The challenge asked us to both complete the Love Language survey to know for sure what our own love languages were.
After we completed the quiz, we shared the results with each other.
From there, we had to work together to come up with 3 ways that we could show our partner love through their love language instead of our own - 3 ways that we could agree would be nice to do.
For example, I’m all about words of affirmation, but my husband has a hard time with this. We learned that he is actually pretty good at using post-it notes to share that he loves me. So he will randomly sneak a post-it note with a cute message in my pocket when he’s ironing my work clothes or put a post-it on the bathroom mirror before bed so that I see it in the morning.
He’s all about quality time spent together, so I’ve agreed to prioritize happy hours at work where I’m allowed to invite him - he gets to spend time with my coworkers and me in a social setting which makes him happy. Note that I used to just ignore the happy hours and work through 6pm. So now, taking a break at 4:30pm to enjoy a couple social hours with my husband and friends is a big change for me, but one I gladly make because it aligns to his love language.
Maybe try that challenge with your boyfriend so that he also feels like you are also improving your love language for him, too? Less one-sided that way and you both get something out of it in the end!
cocacolaxoxo t1_jefzh8e wrote
Reply to My boyfriend (21M) and I (19F) have different love languages and I think it’s starting to wear me out. by [deleted]
My husband and I actually went through a couples training on this topic once as part of an “Adventure Challenge.”
The challenge asked us to both complete the Love Language survey to know for sure what our own love languages were.
After we completed the quiz, we shared the results with each other.
From there, we had to work together to come up with 3 ways that we could show our partner love through their love language instead of our own - 3 ways that we could agree would be nice to do.
For example, I’m all about words of affirmation, but my husband has a hard time with this. We learned that he is actually pretty good at using post-it notes to share that he loves me. So he will randomly sneak a post-it note with a cute message in my pocket when he’s ironing my work clothes or put a post-it on the bathroom mirror before bed so that I see it in the morning.
He’s all about quality time spent together, so I’ve agreed to prioritize happy hours at work where I’m allowed to invite him - he gets to spend time with my coworkers and me in a social setting which makes him happy. Note that I used to just ignore the happy hours and work through 6pm. So now, taking a break at 4:30pm to enjoy a couple social hours with my husband and friends is a big change for me, but one I gladly make because it aligns to his love language.
Maybe try that challenge with your boyfriend so that he also feels like you are also improving your love language for him, too? Less one-sided that way and you both get something out of it in the end!