dehydratedsilica

dehydratedsilica OP t1_j3hwepd wrote

It was more like half hour because of waiting between texts and calls, not sure if waiting or not is less worse! I get that people aren't always tied to their phones. Or as you say, make a racket later, which I've had to do before, though not so early, which is the point, that I don't want to anymore. Did not tell neighbor preemptively because I hadn't seen them doing it, clearly we aren't on regular interacting terms for me to mention it out of the blue. They changed the "arrangement" to assuming it's fine rather than ask (my silence being complicit).

I suspect that in a separate conversation at another time, they still would have gone on, though maybe less explosively, about how I should be okay with them not doing it much when it doesn't usually inconvenience me anyway - exactly the kind of reasoning that works on a pushover.

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dehydratedsilica OP t1_j3fcd4u wrote

Did not need to get out at midnight, did leave 6a. Neighbor had arrived after midnight, I didn't get outside quick enough so texted within minutes, called, no response. Could it have been negotiated...possibly but was moot. Any sort of agreement was in the manner of I need you to ask first, but not having enforced that regularly, both sides get sloppy.

I left it out for brevity but the backstory includes multiple instances of having had to knock and wait after no phone response, also attempting skillful maneuvers around their car and other cars, not always successfully. Times with no problem might far outnumber times with problem, I wouldn't know. It was a different day (multiple) that I happen to have asked someone else to move just a few hours prior but regardless, would not have thought of preemptively communicating my schedule for using my driveway - like hey in case you were thinking of parking here tonight, please don't. It's been a long build-up, regrettably.

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dehydratedsilica OP t1_j3ems6x wrote

I'm not fond of the whole reducing people (people's identities, situations, etc.) to stereotypes/labels/catchwords thing. This is a bit of coping, in that the response was so over the top, never before seen, if I start by assuming a person is reasonable and civil, it's a very jarring combination, does not compute. But starting from a framing of extreme entitlement and unreasonableness makes such a response "not unexpected" and helps with the psychology, if that makes sense. My default setting absolutely is non-confrontation...otherwise, I'd not have gotten here to begin with.

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dehydratedsilica t1_j0o4evv wrote

I chose Imperial/Mike out of 3 contractors to do a new roof last year and was satisfied with the price and process. However, we had talked about potential but non-critical repairs on some roof-adjacent parts, and when I followed up after winter, it was back and forth for months trying to get an appointment, having it scheduled and missed and "we'll try to stop by" and "we'll get back to you" and my following up multiple times. They might have been booked up with other more desirable work and didn't want to take it on. I would have appreciated them being up front with that instead of leaving me with a negative impression of the business/service.

Something I wish I had personally researched better was the fact that new roof installation can be tax exempt: https://www.nj.gov/treasury/taxation/sales_use_tax_FAQ.shtml

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dehydratedsilica t1_ivtwzlp wrote

As you may know, $1 at McD is cheap but certainly not healthy. You wouldn't do that for 2-3 meals/day x 30 days/month either (someone has already documentary-filmed that). Have you checked out r/EatCheapAndHealthy or r/Frugal or similar resources?

I ran my numbers for 7 years of expenses as a single person (extrapolating 2022 YTD to the full year) and found that groceries are 70-80% of my food spending. Social is about 15-25% (includes some general entertainment but it's mostly food) and the rest is self-dining/takeout. I realize this is a bit extreme but maybe you can calculate your current grocery percentage and work on getting halfway to mine. It does takes time to plan, shop, cook, clean (and I store and eat leftovers, rather than simply cook "one serving" at a time) vs. it takes money to pay for the convenience of eating out, which is someone else doing all of that for you.

3.5% down on 129k is about 4.5k. I'm not thoroughly reality-checking all the numbers (and also I personally would not do 3.5% only) but I just have the impression that the upcoming months might be good for seasonal work. Can you hustle and make a dent in that? Or make a dent in the car loan - and once you get rid of the car loan, that few hundred dollars of monthly payment can go towards your house fund.

Keep in mind that with a mortgage, the bank "owns" your home, and if you don't pay, you will eventually no longer own it. When the mortgage is paid off, you still have property taxes, and if you don't pay, you will eventually no longer own it. All throughout, anything that needs maintaining or fixing - anything that you previously called the landlord about - is all your financial and emotional responsibility! I'm not saying don't dream, or be fearful of everything, but do go in with a plan knowing the practical realities, not only a starry-eyed ideal.

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