No, the banter and focus you observe on reddit is not a proper reflection for this area (or really any area for that matter). To put it in perspective, of my friends in DC, less than 10% of them are on reddit and thus their viewpoints are not reflected here.

There's always the Washington Metro Area - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washington_metropolitan_area#/media/File:Dc22counties.jpg

The announcement yesterday regarding select free busses makes it sound like the $100 of metro fare per month is going to be delayed at least a couple years. Instead that money will be used to pay for the free bus service.

If you want it off your hands quickly, you need to price it to sell. I bet you can get someone to buy it for 1/2 retail price, but it may take some time to find a buyer.
Keep in mind that any buyer may be iffy on picking up a used appliance… that may also be out of warranty.

Holiday boat parade followed by fireworks at the Wharf this Saturday

Kingman Island is near Stadium Armory and is often quiet - just go off trail.
In case it’s helpful, Glenwood cemetery has a place to scatter ashes.

It’s a good day to explore, the Smithsonian museums and National Gallery of Art are open on Thanksgiving.