existential_risk_lol OP t1_j71m2qs wrote

Hamplanet, also known as 'The Planet of Pork' is an Earth-like world, orbiting the star Beta Virginis, 35.6 light years away.

Hamplanet has a slightly thicker atmosphere than Earth, although of similar composition. The planet's mass and radius are within 2% of Earth values: this similarity to humanity's homeworld has inspired scientific research for decades. Hamplanet is slightly closer to Beta Virginis than Earth is to Sol: as a result, it is warmer than Earth, with an average surface temperature of 25 degrees Celsius. Hamplanet's smaller oceans, lower axial tilt and slower rotation have contributed to a far more homogenous climate than Earth, with much of the planet described as muggy jungle or swampland.

Hamplanet's claim to fame is the existence of its dominant species: a medium-sized mammal that is almost genetically identical to a pig. The interstellar pork market collapsed soon after the planet's discovery, with the explosive population of Hamplanet's main species turning pork from a delicacy into a staple of space-bound human diets. The taste is described as slightly spicier than Earth pork, with a stringier, chewier texture. Hamplanet is currently a protected interstellar reserve under the jurisdiction of the PEPPA (People for the Propagation of Pig-like Animals).


existential_risk_lol OP t1_j71kzer wrote

Fnarr (human designation: Wartris-II) is the second planet of the Wartris system, which orbits a small, K-type star 342 light-years away, in the constellation of Lupus. A super-Earth, Fnarr is roughly 1.35 times larger in radius than Earth, and almost three times as massive.

A much older planet than Earth, Fnarr is home to the H'darr, a Type-II Kardashev species and a founding member of the United Free Systems Alliance, of which humanity is now a member. Fnarr itself is an arid planet with a thick, nitrous-oxide rich atmosphere, covered from pole to pole in H'darr cities. Much of the planet's energy is derived from solar reflector stations, which tap into the solar corona of Wartris to obtain near-limitless energy. As a result, observers often mistake the intensely bright mirrors of the reflectors for tiny stars: this has been documented as a psychological advantage in H'darr warfare for millions of years.

No human has yet visited Fnarr due to its extreme distance from Earth, inhospitable conditions to humans and the H'darr's policy of not sharing advanced knowledge to species deemed to be on a 'lower' Kardashev level.


existential_risk_lol OP t1_j71jsii wrote

Named after the lost dog god of Old America, Pluto is a thriving hub of commerce on the outer edge of human-inhabited space. The fourth planet from a G-type star called Coleus, Pluto is roughly 74 light-years from Home, the birthplace of mankind.

The Coleus system is rich in natural resources, with four inner rocky planets and three gas giants. Pluto is the residential and industrial hub of the system, as the only remotely habitable world for several light-years. The upper atmospheres of Minos and Taros (the two largest gas giants) are rich in helium-3, a key fuel source in the powering of a faster than light 'jumper' drive: as a result, Pluto is a hotly contested planet, with a long history of both civil, human warfare and extraterrestrial conflict.

The planet is currently under the control and jurisdiction of the Human Colonial & Industrial Force (HUCOLINFO). The ongoing cold war between humanity and the Quab indicates that the Quab armada intends to seize Pluto as a vital strategic resource, hence the increasing military build-up in the Coleus system.


existential_risk_lol OP t1_j71g0ex wrote

Praxxis orbits Barnard's Star, one of the closest stars to Earth at a distance of 5.9 light years. It was one of the first extrasolar planets settled and colonised by mankind, during the Early Interstellar Expansionist Era (2566 - 3239 CE)

Praxxis is small and cold, with a mass roughly 76% that of Earth and an average surface temperature of -49 degrees Celsius. Originally, it was used as a penal colony and supermax security prison, housing extremely dangerous criminals of the former Solar Federation in a highly inhospitable and inescapable environment. Following the adoption of the Chee Doctrine and the eradication of confrontational thoughts through the Human Empire, Praxis was repurposed as a military outpost and shipyard: its small mass and lack of significant atmosphere allows for easy launching of spacecraft, and the Imperial Navy of Man have extensive training facilities on the planet.

Due to Praxis' close proximity to Sol and the Holy Earth, it is considered one of the Human Empire's most important military strongholds and a major component in the Imperial Navy's strategic arsenal. Despite several outspoken threats against humanity's 'uncivilized practices' on the planet from alien envoys, Praxxis is highly valuable and necessary to the mounting war effort, and under no circumstances is implicated in any outlawed or sanctioned activity.
- from Unipedia, the free human-space encyclopedia


existential_risk_lol OP t1_j71ex3q wrote

Jiakoru is an Earth-like world, orbiting the red dwarf star Dremina, 88 light-years from Earth. It is the homeworld of the Onsu, a militaristic alien race currently under sanction by humanity and seventeen other members of the Orion Arm Council.

Due to Jiakoru's close proximity to Dremina, the planet's rotation is drastically slowed; while the planet completes a full orbit, or year, in 15.2 days, the planet rotates once every 153 hours; therefore, every year on Jiakoru is equiavalent to two and a half of its days. Most of the population is confined to latitudes near the planet's poles, where there are temperate zones and oceans of liquid water: the equatorial region is covered by a vast, dry desert, hotter than 150 degrees Celsius on average, in which nothing survives. High emission of light in infrared frequencies gives the planet a distinctive dark-green/black vegetation cover: human spy probes have returned pictures of a low-gravity world, poles covered in towering dense foliage.

Further information on Jiakoru requires authorization from OAC High Command, due to wartime information restriction policy A29.3CX.


existential_risk_lol OP t1_j71e8rp wrote

Yemoja is a sparsely inhabited Human-Controlled frontier planet, located 244 light-years away in the constellation Lyra. Its parent star, classification F-type main-sequence, is relatively young at an estimated age of 600-650 million years old: as a result, the system is highly volatile and unstable.

Yemoja is highly similar to the early Earth, slightly larger in radius with 135% of Earth-gravity, possibly due to to a heavy, metal rich core and mantle. Humanity's discovery of the planet occurred a few million years after the end of a cometary bombardment similar to Earth's own Late Heavy Bombardment, four billion years ago. The planet's high metallicity and heavy volcanism have produced a thick, smoggy atmosphere laced with sulphur dioxide and ammonia. The surface temperature on average is roughly 180 degrees Celsius.

Despite these unlivable conditions, a small mining outpost and refinery station mine for newly exposed heavy elements, as well as a contingent of scientists curious about the conditions on a primordial, Earth-like world. Future habitability of the planet is highly doubtful, due to its presence on the inner edge of its system's habitable zone as well as the short lifespan of its parent star.


existential_risk_lol t1_j5wdw61 wrote

Carl Erica Landry. Currently an awkward, prematurely balding thirty-something working as a bartender in an upscale Caribbean cafe, constantly embarrassed by his middle name (his parents were a decade too late to the seventies, they named his sister Marigold!). Has too many turtleneck sweaters. Is nice enough and reasonably socially adept, but you wouldn't call him the kind of guy who makes an impression.


existential_risk_lol t1_j05oqj7 wrote

Do you think this might be linked to your unborn daughter in some way? The fact that your wife's labour is one of the few concrete inevitabilities in the loop makes me think her birth is directly connected to the loop in some way. Is there a way to, I don't know, change the rime of her birth? You could speak to a doctor and get them to induce your wife's labour earlier; would that change anything? Who am I kidding, you've probably already tried it.


existential_risk_lol t1_it8ie54 wrote

Seems awfully similar to the old Stephen King short story called The Raft - looks like the characters in that story made similar observations to you with the whole 'escape while it's eating' but didn't quite have your luck, OP.

There are going to be some serious issues with the hotel and the Thai authorities when you come back alone with no evidence of bodies...