>Created Jun 14, 2009

It's worth a short to revisit the first part later down the line. Or tell her even if she only did it for a minute and then stopped but to not feel like she has to do it the whole time. But the more the subject is forced, the more she may not feel comfortable.

The second part is more complicated. Plan B makes you get your period but even worse which sucks and is also a whole other subject about how it makes some feel. I took it once in high school and my brain went down a rabbit hole of what if I was pregnant and blah blah blah and just made me feel emotionally like shit. It has nothing to do with trust. Worst case scenario - plan B doesn't work (which happens) and then she has to deal with the decision of what to do next which also sucks.

Maybe talk to her about when in the relationship she'd feel comfortable - like after 2 years? after being engaged? married?

I highly doubt it has anything to do with being "good enough". Maybe the ex forced her to do it, maybe he was smaller and it was easier? TBH my partner is well endowed and I hate doing it because I have a strong gag reflex and I literally feel like its going to make me throw up and then turns me off from the rest of the experience. It only takes 1 traumatic experience to turn someone off of a sexual activity for a long time if not forever.

The condom thing also just might make her more comfortable. Birth control fails and maybe it just makes her feel safer.