I have both consoles. I would definitely not choose based on gamepad features. Games are priority, you should decide if sony exclusives are a must for you. But I would prefer Xbox gamepad due to it has more space to grip for fingers, and feels more robust. Not for the layout, I like PS layout more. Some games use the speaker on Dualsense for comms and small details like sword clashing noise in Ghost of Tsushima. Not same thing but Xbox gamepad has adaptive triggers.

I have both and did not have any issues regarding input lag with casual usage. There might be someone willing to perform any test if you want something specific.