I mean, frankly it sounds to me like he likes her but she’s not interested so he got with someone a lot like her (you) instead, but is still kind of holding out hope that she’ll change her mind.

I could be totally wrong, but that’s how this reads.

I mean, it doesn’t really sound like he’s actively trying to conceive.

If you’re comfortable with it, maybe you can shift to a “we occasionally have sex without birth control and if it happens it happens” mentality.

But, if that’s not ok for you and you’ve decided that kids are just not in the picture, that’s perfectly ok, but you need to have a discussion about it (and I would bring up the frustrations you have with his lack of trying, but so it in as calm and unemotional a way as possible)