iwriteritesright t1_j2fjcnj wrote

“Thank you… uhh, Jeff,” Merimus said, reading his name tag, “for setting up my portal to the World Wide Web and teaching me to use the keyboard and mouse. These mice are odd but helpful. And the goo gull! Fascinating. Your squad of geeks is quite helpful. You are dismissed. I have searching to do.”

How to lure children

How to lure children on the World Wide Web

How to lure children to your home on the World Wide Web

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how many calories in a fat eight year old

Merimus rushed through her new home in excitement as she made sure the bowls of candy were out and the oven was preheated. Then a knock came from the door.

“Coming!” She said in the sweetest voice she could muster, which is no less off-putting than her usual voice.

“Merimus? I’m Chris Hansen. Have a seat.”

“You are not the fat eight year old I ordered! Return to sender!”

“No, I’m not. That chubby eight year old Christopher was actually an AI-generated image. Why did you ‘order him’? Why did you want him here so badly?”

“To test my cooking skills!”

“You were just going to cook for him? In your chats together, you said ‘You look so delicious. I can’t wait to eat you up’. Why did you say that?”

“Yes! I was just going to cook him! That’s why I said that.” A ding came from the kitchen. “Look, my oven is already preheated. Now where is the fat little boy?”

“Mhmm… And what is it you were going to cook him?”

“A nice plump roast!”

“And where is that roast now?”

“It was never delivered! You got in the way!”

“I think that’s enough.” Mr. Hansen then added into his microphone, “send in the police.”

A/N: Thanks for reading. I’d appreciate any tips on getting off the list I definitely just got myself on.