Playing favorites?

Nominative determinism strikes again.

"Find Shelly Miscavige!"

That would explain the great success!

There are definite benefits to living somewhere that’s not the middle of nowhere, that’s for damn sure.

I live close to several hospitals now because I left NY and went to grad school for biomedical engineering, and that’s where this sort of thing gets done.

It’s pretty comforting to know that I am within mere minutes of world-class hospitals and a Level 1 Trauma center, but it’s not at the front of my mind very often.

I was an EMT in upstate NY in the late '80s, in a territory that was on the opposite side of one of the Finger Lakes from the main hospital for the area.

It could be well over 40 minutes even while running lights and siren.

It was particularly frustrating as the lake is at most a mile wide, so you could see the hospital while knowing you weren't getting there any time soon.

(Oh, and the intersection you needed to get through was frequently blocked by train traffic.)

You want a visit from Big Onion?

Just keep spilling their trade secrets.

"I'm waiting for the other two kids so we can be an adult."

There is nothing so stupid, or so easily, laughably disprovable that someone a distressingly large group of people won't believe it.

And act upon it.

A computer virus.

/r/BirdsArentReal

I'll take "Things Slower People Say" for $200, Alex.

Out of how many inspections performed during that time?

Still part of the race to the bottom.

Me.

You can trust me.

That's okay; the user manual's rubbish anyway.

"I can only pay you in gum."

At least it wasn't the blinker fluid.

That ruined my last vacation drive.

The Lice Age.

People are always suggesting ramen noodles, so maybe there's something to it?

That, or wood putty, or perhaps even some properly colored sculpy (modeling polymer clay). Technically, it needs to harden in an oven, but in my experience small amounts will eventually dry out without shrinking.

My spirit animal, apparently.

It looks like the exact same model faucet I installed in my kitchen years ago. It is, in fact, an utter piece of garbage, and anything you try to do to fix it will be, at best, temporary.

The problem is in its basic design: the retractable hose WILL leak eventually, and all the leaked water will drip down into the base, which WILL mineralize and/or corrode.

I finally got sick of it and stopped wasting good effort on a bad faucet. I replaced it with a tall-neck design, where the retractable hose pulls down from the neck, rather than up as with the old one. Less than an hour of work, and now no more aggravation!

Preparing for some cat-based voodoo?

Teamwork.

And I can find no evidence that movie mogul Louis B. Mayer originated the telegram meme "Fuck you. Strong letter to follow."

The intersection between artificial intelligence and natural stupidity is turning out to be even greater than initially expected.