I do similar, but in decreasing counts (5,4,3,2,1). It’s my go to exercise to this day ANY time I feel my anxiety getting out of control. My favorite thing for sure.

I agree with 99% of what you said, but “drugs help”? I’m not sure if you mean meds or like illicit drugs.

I’m ultra progressive and am definitely not opposed to the latter, but I don’t think mixing illicit drugs in an unstable mental health episode is a great idea (coming from someone who is neurodivergent).

Hi OP - I am sorry that you are going through this. I can personally relate, and let me start off by saying it WILL be ok. It may not seem like it right in this moment, but you are strong and you will overcome this. Mental health often starts like a lone battle, but in your health journey you’ll find a support system and the strength and skills to manage all of this. I firmly believe that, and so should you. Better times are ahead.

Please check out a IOP - Intensive Outpatient Program. This is a program which any reputable hospital/mental health facility should have. It consists of a group therapy component, as well as a “classroom” component that has mindfulness and coping mechanism lessons. It is an incredible first step towards mental health care.

I was in a similar spot years ago, and I though I was quickly approaching my self-induced expiration date. Things were falling apart and I felt like I had no control over things. Joining a IOP program was life changing for me. It was the first step towards seeking real mental health care. The group componente meant I suddenly had a support system that understood what I was going through. It’s one of those things that I wish I will never have to go back to, but I am incredibly grateful that I was able to participate in one because I think to some extent, it saved my life.

“Intensive” is in the name because it’s generally a M-Thu program that lasts 3-4 hours in the evening. Perhaps you could check on childcare with a family member?

Let me know if any questions. You will be OK OP. Hang in there.