lego1042
lego1042 t1_jdxpdhn wrote
Reply to comment by IML_42 in [WP] Years ago, your mentor said, "Kid, there's a small secret when it comes to magic. You can literally make shit up and it'll usually work. Makes the guys who actually take it seriously really pissed off." Today, you're one of the least respected, and most powerful, mages in the land. by Prompt_Dude
Usually stuff like that jumps out at me a bit more when I'm reading but I got too engaged with this one and only got hung up on the one typo near the beginning.
One note I did notice just now glancing back is that the words 'says' and 'replies' come up a lot (particularly says). It wasn't noticeable to me on first read but it might be worth taking a look at. On the other hand there are a few other words like screams that come up which maybe are a little more emphatic because they're rare? "I guess you could also stick with words like says but then maybe describe the declarer a little more," he says now yelling loudly.
Anyway this was a particularly fun read. Thanks for the story
lego1042 t1_jdwr10y wrote
Reply to comment by IML_42 in [WP] Years ago, your mentor said, "Kid, there's a small secret when it comes to magic. You can literally make shit up and it'll usually work. Makes the guys who actually take it seriously really pissed off." Today, you're one of the least respected, and most powerful, mages in the land. by Prompt_Dude
> spells and they’re associated
lego1042 t1_je0hit6 wrote
Reply to comment by Repq in [WP] You, a supervillain, are very confused as to why your superhero-nemesis is rampaging through your lair screaming something about you kidnapping their girlfriend. Meanwhile your daughter, who has come to visit you, seems very nervous and is anxious to leave your lair. by Kitty_Fuchs
> know how how I feel
I think you a word here.