I think I’ve always known this, I just needed to hear it from someone else. Thanks. Now I’m an adult and have to pull myself out of bad patterns. It is a difficult responsibility, putting myself back in therapy might be the next step.

It is very sad because it means admitting to myself that my parents failed their task and I suffer the consequences. All of my choices are my own, but how much agency does a young woman really have?

There is no cookie cutter shape for these guys. I’ve had a fling with an Ivy League professor, a rendezvous with a businessman that made 7 figures who took me around the world, and several others would had the ability to provide and guide. Needless to say, my parents had no leash on me and my adventures. They were very uninvolved. More than material possessions though, I valued the stability and mentorship my partners had from their life experience.

Definitely. Sometimes I have an envy of the pure love I see some of my friends receive from their partners. A very unconditional, thoughtful, untainted care and affection. I wrestle with my feeling that I don’t deserve that type of love, that I’m past it somehow. That I’m already too jaded, bitter, or inferior (compared to other girls) to be fit for it. A superficial analysis would lead me to think I have low self esteem and self worth, but I carry myself confidently and I practice self love. It’s been difficult pinning it down.

It is an issue that has been on my mind, yes. I recently entered therapy that my uni provides and I’ve been evaluating the impact of my relationships and their long term effects. I feel like it’s a valid concern, and this is out of the scope of the perspective and support my friends could provide so I have to seek it out in other ways, hence the Internet.