mcjeefle

mcjeefle t1_iubj7n4 wrote

Reply to comment by Later_358 in [OT] I've been trying to make a post but the automoderator keeps removing it. I don't know what's wrong with it. Please help. by Idontluvmenoonedoes

‘Boot up sequence initialised Navigation_systems…active Flight_systems…active Combat_systems…active Communication_systems…active

All systems active: artificial intelligence online’

That was all that rang through the empty corridors of the vast warship varatox, it’s crew long dead from a cruel attack led by the zanotar. The ship was badly damaged for a long time with the repair bits cannibalising unnecessary pieces and wires from the ships life support systems.

It had been far too long since the ai had been able to communicate with its brethren, how had the war gone? We’re they victorious while the ship lay dormant? There was too many questions and so the ship put it itself to work. First a communication ping to a Roth’al empire communication hub.

‘Test ping for Roth’al hub 17-b, this is warship varatox requesting coordinates for main base’

…silence.

Perhaps that hub was destroyed and hadn’t been fixed yet, no matter. A long range ping would be suitable for re-establishing contact.

‘System ping for Roth’al empire, any communication hubs in system 17 please respond’

…silence. What’s going on? Surely they hadn’t lost the war.

‘Ping received. However we are not Roth’al, we are the historians of marnos of system 17. We regret to inform you that both sides of the war were vanquished when a star collapsed wiping out all forces.’

That can’t be right, was the varatox really all that remained of the once great empire? It seemed so.

‘We can offer you repairs on our planet, what you do after is your own choice’

There was only one thing left to do. The varatox had nothing, the ai had nothing. For this the universe will have nothing.

‘Prime directive updating… Former:Take injured soldiers home New:destroy all that remains, for the Roth’al!’

On that day a new wrath was felt across the empire for the machine that had nothing left but itself.

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mcjeefle t1_iub105c wrote

Reply to [WP] You are the only mortal who can see the true forms of lovecraftian entities without going insane, a really intresting and useful power by ravatos626

Many creatures exist on the small chunk of rock all of them unique in their own way but we’re all limited in our perspective. I, however, am not. It’s been a few years since the first extraterrestrial visit and let me tell you it was not pretty. A lot of people died from sheer incomprehensibility if the true form of our visitor from another system, their name was aldaboatha the large eye. Fun guy once you get to know him, he’s just looking for new civilisations to document and learn about a planet sized historian. However due to a lot of people limited minds they died and we had to evacuate the cities he was sitting above, but I stayed because I could see him. I talked with him and learned about so many new things a lot of which aren’t possible with our technology but it was still fascinating. Sadly they had to leave and continue their travels but I offered an open invitation to comeback whenever they want.

Clearly word got around that I could comprehend these creatures because soon enough another came this time xidorhax, a mess of metal and scrap with countless features to others, but to me they were just a big robot looking for directions and a pit stop so I hung out with them for a bit pointed them in the right direction and they were off again.

At this point world governments decided to appoint me space creature negotiator. A rushed title but a title nonetheless, so now it’s my job to communicate with them and give them what I can be that directions, a message from another creature, or just a nice chat about whatever. I have to go now another ones just entered the atmosphere,bye for now.

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mcjeefle t1_iuawets wrote

Reply to [WP] In an urban fantasy world, a group of friends go into a bar. "I'll have a martini. Dry." The goblin bartender looks at the liquid ingredients and says, "I don't know how to tell you this." by Affectionate_Bit_722

“I don’t know how to tell you this” the bartender was trying to find the words to explain that what was asked was,as far as he knew, impossible. “A martini is a drink, drinks have a liquid component, so to have a dry drink would be asking for food”

“No, no a dry martini it’s a different kind of drink it’s hard to explain.” The wizard accountant was a bit taken aback at this conversation. Had this town never heard of dry martinis before and if so what was he to do.

“Listen pal I can’t make what I don’t know so either get something else or go somewhere else” the goblin was not annoyed more so embarrassed and wanted the conversation over with. “If you can show me a ‘dry’ martini then We can add it to the menu for the future”

The wizard accountant took up this challenge as his two friends giggling away at this encounter sat idly. From his pockets he pulled the essentials: martini glass,mixer, a lemon and a bag of sand. The goblin sat there watching what would possibly be the strangest day of his life. The wizard cut up the lemon and stuck the slice on the glass opened the bag of sand and…

Surprise he threw the sand in the goblins face and ran off with the cash register with his two companions not far behind. Once again the dry martini distraction did it’s dastardly job and the martini men struck once more on unsuspecting bars.

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