If it's anything like their algorithm that shows me the tweets from a trending, I wouldn't want it.

I think you somehow need to get a passion for getting fit. Hire a personal trainer and be accountable for it. Hire a chef to make you good healthy food, or get a passion for cooking. Focusing on your health may well make you feel mentally much better. Also it's quite clear any issues with your relationship stem back to the one you had with your mother. Maybe you are attracted to someone somewhat unstable. Man you are not old, good luck buddy.