I greatly appreciate the response. Thank you.

I used psychedelics and other recreational drugs that were sourced well and tested by myself prior to use. Everything that I used had a relatively green physical safety profile, but I did not follow harm reduction practices very well after I started tiptoeing and then walking over the line with frequency and dosage. Eventually, I had an extremely horrific bad trip that I would probably call a psychosis episode and ended up in the ER. I stopped using recreational drugs completely after that episode (about 5 years ago), however, I still experience occasional but identical episodes that last between 4 and 6 hours. They never involve violence or anything dangerous but they are, by far, the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I would take back every positive drug experience I've ever had to undo that bad trip.

They negatively affect my life in a serious manner and cause me to somewhat subscribe to what most professionals would consider delusional beliefs. I lead a relatively normal and healthy life outside of these episodes - I have a good job and friends that I love.

I'm not sure how to get a grip or understanding of what, if anything, is wrong with me. I've never seen a mental health professional and have what I consider a valid fear of diagnosis and medication. Would you have any suggestions for something I can do by myself to reduce the frequency or intensity of the episodes that I experience?