notoriousnationality

notoriousnationality t1_j60qgdp wrote

20 years ago I almost did that, and I was 19 too. I used to dream about cutting contact, changing my identity and never coming back. 20 years later, and trying everything else possible, I still want to do that, just as badly! But instead I visit them and pretend everything is fine. I still want to never see them again, now with even more and more certainty. Initially I hoped that as time passed, I would start to understand them. But instead I see that they are still as heartless as they ever were. Rather I regret giving them the opportunity to demonstrate their lack of humanity to the point that I’ve become so certain of their character. If I left earlier, I would have had doubts but now I have zero doubts, and it’s quite sad to see myself become so convinced about them. Family can be toxic.

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