when they have a kid it would be a qualifying event and they can switch back to employer plans

The way our plan worked for Pharmacy portion was just that the meds were not covered by the normal pharmacy benefit at all, the claim was denied, but then the cost was picked up by the fertility/ART benefit. My plan offered $7500 worth of lifetime coverage for prescription drugs as part of IVF and we blew past it in the first cycle (total cost was around $9k for meds, so $1.5k out of pocket for us). You just will want to make sure the infertility benefit will cover the pharmacy portion, if the pharmacy part of the plan itself isn't offering coverage for fertility medication.

A single cycle of IVF is going to cost you more than $10k. Between your consults and mom's testing with the RE, your testing, your sample collection + cryo and/or donor usage requirements, the amount of meds you need, the number of stim cycles you need, etc. The meds alone for one round of stim are $7k+, and that is just the horomone injections. After that there are considerations for costs associated with the lab work to create the embryos, the storage of any embryos that are created that you don't use in the first cycle, genetic testing on any viable 3 or 5 day embryos, prepping mom's body and the actual embryo transfer itself, and lastly anything that may come up in between.

Make sure the plan you choose will cover the PHARMACY part of IVF, that is a significant portion of the cost. The meds are not cheap. Also take into account deductibles and copays/OOP max if not explicitly covered under the ART benefit.

Also know that it might take more than a year so you might be with this secondary plan for longer than just a single year.

Source: IVF in 2019 we had our first consult in January and embryo transfer did not happen until September. Got lucky and only had to do just 1 cycle (18 eggs collected, 6 5-day embryos, only 1 was viable after genetic testing and grading which was implanted and successful). Total cost was close to $20k, including unexpected surgery for my wife to remove some polyps from her uterus before transfer.

Did you not read everything you signed before you signed it? I guarantee you had to sign the bill of sale before the purchase was completed. That document would have outlined all costs.

If nothing else you learned a lesson that you cannot EVER sign anything before you've read everything you are agreeing to.

If it's tied up in "accessories" like paint protection and anti-theft, rust-proofing, etc. then you aren't going to get anything back from the dealer on those.

If they've tacked on warranties (anything listed as warranty or service contract, wheel & tire, extended warranty, etc.), those are cancellable usually for a refund. The refund won't be processed back to you directly but it will be tacked on as a one-time payment to the end of the loan thereby reducing the total amount you will pay. Your monthly payment won't change but you will pay the loan off faster as a result of the lower total finance amount.

What does your bill of sale/sales contract list?

Sounds like you paid for a bunch of add ons unknowingly. Whether or not that's on you or if the dealer was shady is tbd

this is why. Change your W-4 back to single or if you keep it as married then you both need to check the "spouse works" box in step 2c of the W4

not without taking a distribution, no.

I suggest you rent for a yearr or two, make sure you like the new city/state to make the right decision on which neighborhood/area you want to be in, and ensure you'll be staying longer than a few years, and use the time in the interim to save up appropriately.