My abductee/optimistic admirer is of the extraterrestrial persuasion. Not like a hot space babe from Star Trek, or a hot Spock also from Star Trek. Not even a little green man.
It's a rock.
Well, rock is maybe a bit disingenuous. My admirer is more crystaline than stone, several jagged spires radiating a blend of colors, gold veins crisscrossing all over the surface. Plopped directly in the center of a stark white room with cables attached to its base, the crystal referred to itself as a 'geo sapient'.
For the record, I still don't know where the voice is coming from, how it can speak English, or why in the name of God it sounded like Marilyn Monroe. I have decided to internally refer to this thing as Monrock.
"I believe you will make the ideal dance partner,' Monrock says. 'Mammalian, not too many limbs, and you don't excrete acid."
"Flattery won't get you anywhere."
Monrock is silent for a moment. "At this party we are going to-"
"I didn't agree to go."
"...that I would like to take you to, there will be ajll kinds of dancing."
"You already told me about this. How exactly do you dance?"
I notice that Monrock's colors fade a little. "It is difficult to explain. But when I say 'all kinds of dancing', I do mean that in that in the most literal sense. Dancing is not even the exact word. What I am talking about is the expression of the self through one's own physical and mental capabilities. There will be beings there who exist in multiple timelines simultaneously, entities that only exist in our minds, and species that are little more than sentient colors."
Well, it sure did sound like a hell of a party, at least.
"For my kind, it is incredibly difficult to compete with such strange and beautiful expressions. That is why I need a partner to help me."
I fold my arms. "And why me exactly."
Monrock goes quiet again.
"I just like you."
I roll my eyes. "What? Over celebrities, politicians, doctors, lawyers, billionaires...over all the billions of people on my planet?"
"Status and wealth on your world mean little to me. I vetted over one-thousand candidates, and you seem like the most fun."
Well, assuming that it isn't yanking my chain, I do find that flattering.
"All right. I'll give this a shot. But I'm not doing any 'sexy' dances, you hear? And there had better be food that I can digest. And booze."
paperbackartifact t1_j0uvupb wrote
Reply to [WP] after abducting you, the alien explains that there’s an intergalactic dance in a few days and they want you to be their date by Punny-Aggron
"How is this even supposed to work?" I ask.
My abductee/optimistic admirer is of the extraterrestrial persuasion. Not like a hot space babe from Star Trek, or a hot Spock also from Star Trek. Not even a little green man.
It's a rock.
Well, rock is maybe a bit disingenuous. My admirer is more crystaline than stone, several jagged spires radiating a blend of colors, gold veins crisscrossing all over the surface. Plopped directly in the center of a stark white room with cables attached to its base, the crystal referred to itself as a 'geo sapient'.
For the record, I still don't know where the voice is coming from, how it can speak English, or why in the name of God it sounded like Marilyn Monroe. I have decided to internally refer to this thing as Monrock.
"I believe you will make the ideal dance partner,' Monrock says. 'Mammalian, not too many limbs, and you don't excrete acid."
"Flattery won't get you anywhere."
Monrock is silent for a moment. "At this party we are going to-"
"I didn't agree to go."
"...that I would like to take you to, there will be ajll kinds of dancing."
"You already told me about this. How exactly do you dance?"
I notice that Monrock's colors fade a little. "It is difficult to explain. But when I say 'all kinds of dancing', I do mean that in that in the most literal sense. Dancing is not even the exact word. What I am talking about is the expression of the self through one's own physical and mental capabilities. There will be beings there who exist in multiple timelines simultaneously, entities that only exist in our minds, and species that are little more than sentient colors."
Well, it sure did sound like a hell of a party, at least.
"For my kind, it is incredibly difficult to compete with such strange and beautiful expressions. That is why I need a partner to help me."
I fold my arms. "And why me exactly."
Monrock goes quiet again.
"I just like you."
I roll my eyes. "What? Over celebrities, politicians, doctors, lawyers, billionaires...over all the billions of people on my planet?"
"Status and wealth on your world mean little to me. I vetted over one-thousand candidates, and you seem like the most fun."
Well, assuming that it isn't yanking my chain, I do find that flattering.
"All right. I'll give this a shot. But I'm not doing any 'sexy' dances, you hear? And there had better be food that I can digest. And booze."
Monrock, quite literally, brightens up.