Honey your self-esteem issues and bad past are exactly why he's able to prey on you. A good partner wants what is best for you and he 100% knows that's not passing on college so you can stay home and watch his kid. He knows that and he doesn't care.

Are you kidding me? Get away from this guy and go to college... He doesn't care about you, he just wants a babysitter.

Sounds like he's checked out of the relationship.

Then start by talking to him about that.

What do you want to do? Is it upsetting you? Is your sex life good or no?

So... surrogacy?

I also think that's a bit odd.

Wow, that was harsh. I can't believe you called me that.

Crazy, the fact that you're both people who can sleep in the same position all night long is absolutely wild to me. Lol

Understandable that your am feels weird though, and will probably get worse over time. I've literally fucked up my shoulder so bad by sleeping on one side that I couldn't move it for a few days and had to go to urgent care over it.

I would look on Amazon or elsewhere under "cuddle pillow" and see if you can find something that fits with the way you guys sleep and can take some of the pressure off your arm. I'd also consider switching sides regularly.

Yes. But I am also not OP and just having fun with ya. lol

Do you sleep like that all night?? My husband and I generally spoon for a while as we're falling asleep and then turn over into whatever position we find comfortable for ourselves.

Obviously a large cat native to the Americas.

>He constantly calls me cougar, but like, how can I be a cougar if I’m human?

That's where the trolling became most obvious, but for other people reading this, yeah some people just aren't into "daddy", or "mommy" for that matter.

I think you should continue getting therapy... You don't have to have a relationship if you don't want to, obviously. But if you feel like you want to and it is only fear holding you back, then continue to get help for that. Being aware of what you're afraid of is already the best way to prevent it.

Understandable, but you know practically everyone has issues of some sort, right? You're clearly aware of yours and seeking help to handle them, which is all any of us can do. If someone you found to be wonderful in every way told you that they've also dealt with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc, how would you feel?

Well part of therapy is learning how to deal with these things in a healthy way.

Is the bottom line that you're afraid getting into a relationship will be bad for that person because of these things you feel?

>However I’ve always fought with the inner darkness (depression, suicide sessions, anxiety, etc.), well just like all of us I guess, but even to think that these demons might break out one day and impact someone else, especially someone I’d love, is devastating.

Sounds like the best thing you can do here is get help for those issues.

Get a pregnancy test. Hell, go to a dollar store and get several (they're just as accurate as the expensive ones). Also keep in mind for future situations, Plan B does exist...

> I feel like the problem is definitely me and I'm not sure how to fix it.

You've given no reason to assume that... Well, other than that you've kept asking her when she made it clear she's not comfortable with it. Why is it that big of a deal?

> I feel like he’s manipulating me

He is.

You are not responsible for his life or his well-being. If he's wanting to self-harm, the answer should be him getting professional help. Not you putting your life on hold to care for him, which is clearly what he wants.

Get help for your anxiety. Dreams are not prophetic but they can be a reflection of things you're worrying about.

I get it, but you also now have a boyfriend who may put importance on his birthday and the holiday, so you have to figure out how to juggle things in a way that doesn't make him feel less important.

Well, sounds like she at least wanted to spend Halloween with you even if you couldn't afford to do what she wanted to (which was what?)

If she's going to break up with you over it then I doubt this is the only problem in the relationship.

>told me that if the baby talk didnt go good to just poke some holes in condoms.

The fuck?!

YES tell your girlfriend!

You could have just posted the entire thing when you submitted the post... lol