That is almost certainly what's happening. (you are almost definitely eating too much)

If you like, you can share your previous days meals with me, and I can give you a calorie range. But if you're not cooking your food yourself, and if you're not weighing it (or at least basing estimations off prior known weights/volumes), it's highly likely you're eating more than you think.

If you can't even list everything you ate yesterday, I can all but guarantee you overate.

How many calories are you currently eating per day?

Can you walk me through how you calculate those calories for a single meal?

Define fat.

Also, are you currently counting calories? If not, however much you 'think' you're eating, easily add 1k or more and that's probably closer.

If you're not carefully calculating (ideally weighing) your foods calories, you're probably eating more than you think.

Not eating for 3 days with type 2 exacerbates the issue. You’re going to induce hypoglycemia, which isn’t a risk for non diabetics.

You diet control type 2 by eating a healthy portion of low glycemic index food on a regular basis until your body can readjust to the absence of glucose spikes caused by sugary foods and drinks.

All this isn’t to say I don’t empathize with struggling. We all struggle. I struggle with my weight too.

But it’s not about whether or not you struggle - it’s about how you handle your struggle. Mindset can be just as difficult and valid a struggle as exercise or dating or work or anything else.

Maybe it’s worth it to find a smaller challenge first, with more immediate results to try the “embrace the suck” mindset on?

this is all perspective, I can’t fix you refusing to see that.

There’s no such thing as a fool proof fitness plan - anybody who tells you that is trying to sell you something.

If you’re comparing your fitness level to your gym buddy, you’re setting yourself up for failure. You have your suck, they have theirs. It’s two different things. Besides, I bet none of your workout buddies had the same critical thoughts about films and books you brought with you into the gym.

All of these complaints are opportunities if you view them that way.

Why do you care if people are looking? Does it make any difference if they are or aren’t?

Maybe a traditional gym isn’t right for you - can’t say you’ve tried everything until you’ve tried something else. Have you been boxing? Swimming? Tennis? HEMA? (Guarantee you’ve never done the last one!)

This is all your choice, to view things as you do. They’re either problems to make life miserable, or challenges to be overcome and destroyed. The choice is yours.

Okay, I think you make some important points. Let’s follow those thoughts:

When trying for weight loss, how many different strategies have you tried? How long do you spend on a strategy? Fitness can be an incredibly difficult mountain to climb because what works for one won’t wont for the other, and results take unusually long to materialize.

Why is your first thought upon failure “I suck and can’t progress.” Why not actively change that to “I now know what doesn’t work and get the opportunity to try a different strategy!”

Leisure should be fun. But leisure time isn’t productive time. Furthermore, think about how productive you had to be to turn those things into leisure! Was your first book easy? How long did it take you to truly appreciate literature and film? Do your opinions continue to grow and mature as you consume? Does it come freely, or does it take effort? You may be naturally inclined to these things, but nobody is born knowing how to read, nobody is born a movie buff, and it took time and effort to build those skills which you aren’t recognizing because they’re so trivial to you now.

If you want to grow, you have to work. And it sounds to me like the thing that’s really got you unhappy is the fact that everyone around you seems to be growing effortlessly. Hint: they aren’t. Everyone you know who is growing is working hard at it. Even if they’re a natural at what they’re doing, they’re working. (The best-of-the-best synergize between hard work and natural skill to get further than anyone else can)

The best way to see it is to join someone on a growth path. If the gym is a big one for you, get a gym buddy. Every time you feel like someone is watching you, frankly, remind yourself they aren’t, but also know that overcoming their gaze, or even their feeling of a gaze, is a challenge worth tackling.

That’s the secret hack nobody wants to tell you ;)

Honestly, suffering is pain and hardship. Of course it isn’t fun.

But the pain isn’t there for no reason. It’s a means to an end. You don’t get strong by not going to the gym, and you don’t go to the gym and not suffer. When people say they feel good during a workout, they don’t mean it it’s a comfortable or entertaining experience - they mean they recognize that the suffering is producing results and they feel accordingly.

Whatever it is you have to do, it might not be enjoyable in the present moment, but you can always find enjoyment in the fact that suffering means you’re doing something nessecary and becoming better for it.

What is it about suffering that makes you so unhappy?

Suffering is how you achieve great things. You should be happy to suffer, it means you’re pushing for something important.

Good luck! It’s worked wonders for me, I hope it does the same for you too :)

It’s the latter - you can be inspired by suffering.

Failure is just one step on the road to success. Worst case, you’re learning what isn’t for you. But it’s important to keep at the things you do want as well, because you wont see success if you just quit right away.

You get it and just said it yourself.

Do you like cheese? Do you think of eating cheese as eating basically moldy/expired milk? No, you think of it as tasty cheese that can be put in a sandwich or spread on a cracker.

You think of things one-way-or-the-other all the time. Your perception often doesn’t align with reality.

What’s wrong with manually tweaking your perspective to induce results? All it is is saying “I’m not forcing myself because I love doing things that suck” until it becomes true.

Embrace the things that make life difficult for they are also the things that will teach you the most and make you stronger.

Every challenge you face is an opportunity to improve, every struggle makes you stronger.

It’s not forcing yourself to do a thing because “you know it’s good for you”. It’s seeing that a thing is challenging, knowing that means it’s a growth path, and getting excited for the suffering itself because you know it will reap rewards.

You’re not approaching the problem from an honest position right now.

You said I just told you to force yourself to do it- but that’s not what I said.

I said you need to embrace the suck - to look at all the terrible aspects of what you don’t want to do (what you are procrastinating), and choose to enjoy those things.

I think your choice to read that advice as “force yourself” is ultimately your own decision. You’re not wrong, in that you ultimately do have to ‘force’ yourself to do things, but you’re using that aspect of the action as an excuse to ultimately walk to “I can’t do it” by route of “easier said than done -> it’s very hard -> it’s too difficult for me”

Embracing the suck is a way to motivate yourself - you tell yourself that yeah this sucks, but it’s a GOOD thing that it sucks. It means you’re doing something most people wouldn’t want to because you’re willing to face up to the challenge. Suck means you’re on the right path. It’s a teacher, if you’re willing to learn from it.

But yea, ultimately it’s still just forcing yourself. (I’m not saying that’s what I told you, I’m saying that’s what’s under the skin of the reality of motivation/determination) That’s true for everyone, and it’s true that the road will be harder for some than others. If it’s harder for you to overcome procrastination, you can embrace that suck too. “I have to work that much harder to overcome procrastination, it means I’m that much stronger than the people who had it easy from the start. I have an advantage over them in knowing how to manage distraction. Obstacles that would crush them I can overcome thanks to the suck I had to face.”

Or you can just spit out “easier said than done” and call it a day. 🤷‍♂️

If that’s all you hear then you’ll always have that excuse ready on hand.

This sounds like burnout.

You should try to focus on one important project at a time, instead of spreading your attention to many things.

Choose something you know you’ll enjoy first, ideally with a relatively soon payoff. Then keep rolling to the next thing from there, but keep focused on one thing. Soon you’ll build momentum again.

You literally imagine the bad thing happening, and instead of saying “I don’t want that” you say “Bring it on!”

20 mile run in the rain, gonna be drenched and sore by the time it’s over? Bring it on!

Spending the next 3 hours on a project while your friends party it up, staring out the window wishing you were with them? Bring it on! That all you got? That’s nothing! Think that’ll beat me? Yeah right!

You get the idea?

You know this is a trick commonly taught to special forces in the military, right?

It’s called embracing the suck.

Coming from both entertainment and computers as well, if you want stability stick with the latter.

Acting can be far more rewarding, and ofc just like computers there’s a global elite that makes millions. But computers has more opportunity for higher pay in the middle ground, and has stability and consistency.

And they’re 100% correct! Only the best in the world can float internationally in acting, and China is a completely segregated market due to government propaganda having a choke hold on content (Did you know too gun maverick had the Taiwan flag digitally removed from mavericks jacket for Chinese censors?). Your Chinese chops mean nothing internationally, unfortunately.