This sounds like a no go to me, absent any admission or ownership on her part. She has to own up, take responsibility for her decisions issues, get into therapy and also couples therapy with you. But honestly, my guess is it would not lead anywhere. Even her pluses are lame. Basically, she cooks and she’s pretty. If you marry someone for their looks and how that translates to your own self esteem you’re in for a world of hurt in the future. Good on you for putting off the wedding and good god do NOT merge finances.

Early in your pregnancy then. I know what I’d do about that.

People on this sub always ask, “how do I tell them?” “How do I say…?” These sorts of conversations are never easy, but you have to say the words. “Hey, we’ve been together X amount of years. I love you and desire you but I’m not feeling that in return. If things don’t change, I’ll have to rethink the relationship.” There might be a guy out there for her , but you’re not him.

Skip any additional paragraphs. He’s not your boyfriend. No FaceTime? No calls? That’s not normal. I 100% guarantee that he’s gotten with other people in that period. He’s showing you zero respect. Stop all communication and move on.

Threatening suicide is next level manipulation. So he’s willing to resort to that but addressing the issues and instituting change is out of the question? And there’s little that I would find “great” about being a SAHM if that comes with shackles. All this and you let him put a child in you? Just ugh. Your job here is to protect your kids ASAP. Raising them in this environment is unfair to them. The longer they are exposed , the more permanent the damage. You need to seek out an alternative with family, a friend, anyone. For any future with him I’d require him to enter both individual and couples therapy and get him to quit whatever substances are contributing to the issues. If he’s serious about suicide, there’s nothing you can do to stop him.

I mean this doesn’t sound like you’re compatible at all and she does not sound very generous even in the blowjob department. Her inability and utter avoidance of sex could be due to trauma or childhood abuse of some kind? You can have the conversation but it’s not going to change anything. Unless you’re looking to marrying your own right hand (or left hand?), then it looks like you need to reassess.

I love that he became angry that you didn’t immediately agree to indulge him in this cannibalistic ritual . Or is it just a kink disguised as such? I mean, if that’s his thing, have at it. But that would be a no from me.

Listen to his words: “Then I don’t know what love is.” Exactly. The cheating was unfortunate for you as it seems to have racked you with guilt. It’s done. You did it. Put it behind you. But do not allow this guilt to camouflage the truth here. You describe him as your “true best friend.” But that’s not what you want. He has failed to meet even the most basic requirements of a “loving” relationship. He has taken you for granted and has not shown up for you which led you to betray his trust. I’d be packing my bags with the exhilaration and excitement of moving on. But please, stop beating yourself up. In the future, it’s important to clearly articulate to your next BF when things aren’t working. “Hey, I feel unloved, like a roommate. And you’re sleeping in another room. If things don’t change I’m going to have to rethink this relationship.”