I don’t want to take away from the stupidity you’re responding to, I understand what you’re saying, but women have higher rates of suicidal thoughts and unsuccessful attempts.

Right on. Shoot me a message if you have any specific questions once you get around to it.

Liberally spray with water, scrape, sand to level, apply skim coat (watered down drywall compound to the consistency of yogurt), sand, apply skim coat to any problem areas, sand, paint

I have done this all over my house to great success. No reason to think it wouldn’t work for you.