Yes, it's important to keep in mind that, even if this woman had said "I am 100% looking for a serious relationship!" she STILL could have broken up with him two months later (yes, even after "riding his dick" and all that noise) and there would STILL be nothing wrong with it.

Because that's the dating game. It just is.

> I don’t want to date knowing she’s just riding my dick for fun like I’m some kind of human sex toy

It's odd the combination of completely overblown sexual ego and soul-withering low personal self worth. Fascinating study.

No. She wouldn't have been.

You could have been Harry Fucking Styles with a PhD and she'd still want to be out there living an unattached life.

THIS. ISN'T. ABOUT. YOU.

Ps. I really have a ton of respect, honestly, for how she handled this whole thing, because holy heck if you telescoped your atttachement issues to her as much as you have here, she probably had a LOT of rightful concerns about how to enforce her boundaries.

If you regret this, then you should not date. Really.

You have to enjoy dating for the ride, both figuratively and literally in this case.

99% of all the first dates you go on will end in eventual "failure." It's part of the deal.

It's not about there being anything wrong with you or evil about them or whatever... it's just the way it is.

And, you're right-- you aren't going to see her again, and that's also just part of dating.

Or.. it's possible that it's not an UNDER assessment of worth and an OVER assessment of sexual prowess?

The vast majority of people (men and women) who go through that stage come out the other end and settle down. (I mean, if they don't, they are even LESS in a life stage appropriate for a relationship.)

Trust me, you should be well capable of finding someone not currently IN IT.

I mean-- she is a party girl coking it up on the weekends... no judgement on her AT ALL for living the wild life right now, but also her life-phase is totally incompatible with a relationship, and it sounds like this was pretty apparent from day one.

The worst thing that could possibly happen is to get into a relationship with someone in a phase of life that's entirely incompatible with one.

In future, it would be best to ask, from the very beginning and well before having sex, "Hey, I am dating with the intention of finding a longer-term relationship. Is that also what you are looking for?"

If the answer is anything other than, "Yes, absolutely!," do not engage.

You didn't just offer her sex, you offered her companionship (going out and doing stuff, joking, talking daily, etc.

No, it sounds like she's in no way capable of a deep relationship and doesn't want that right now, but it doesn't look like she "just used you for sex." (Source: Been there, seen that.)

It sounds to me like she did enjoy speding time with you, but she also didn't want to lead you on into thinking it was more than what sounds like an actual-friends with benefits kind of thing, so she did the right thing and broke it off when she noticed that you were starting to get that impression. You should be grateful for that, because, believe me, it sucks when these situations linger on with ambiguity.

Too much work. This isn't just a "can you take a shower before we see each other" thing.

And, you haven't even seen nor smelled all that's lurking under his clothing.

Many options: They might be hacked or spoofed accounts that she did not create herself, she could be trying to be a social media influencer of some sort, she could have one for business and one for personal, she could be really forgetful and bad at remembering log-ins... LOADS of reasons.

But, more importantly, worrying about what your toxic ex is up to is an utter and complete waste of mental energy. I'd gently encourage spending time getting over her, not figuring out why something that doesn't matter is the way it is, when there is no way for anyone to know.

You say "Hey, great pic of your forehead. Can I just ask... what are we doing here? Do you want to go on a date or no?"