ricottapie t1_jdg1eq3 wrote

I'm not saying that violence is the answer, just that it matters who started it. Zero-tolerance treats all involved as equal perpetrators, and that's not always the case. It's important that the principal knows that she didn't start whaling on the other girl unprovoked.

Honestly, I sympathize a bit more with teachers and administrators now that I'm older. Their hands are fairly tied, and zero-tolerance policies don't help. They're often met with resistance from parents who are bullies themselves or who simply don't believe their child would ever behave that way. Sometimes the parents struggle with disciplining them at home. In-school issues don't always occur in isolation. It can be a layered thing. I just wish more could be done for those who are targeted.


ricottapie t1_jdfsv8a wrote

I know. I've been through it myself. Zero tolerance policies are garbage. I'm sorry your son keeps getting labelled. They really should be able to do more for him, and it's frustrating, especially when you do everything you're supposed to, like keeping documentation. I don't know what the solution is. :(


ricottapie t1_jdfs62k wrote

Oof. Well, they do have a legal obligation to protect themselves and their students. They can't ignore someone getting a split lip in their care.

I empathize with you, though. I've been in your position (not the physical fight part), and it can be hard to know how to react in the moment. I hope you're never again in a situation where you feel like you have no other choice but to fight back.


ricottapie t1_jdfiqqf wrote

>So let’s look at it. What other options did you have? Could you tell her to stop loudly to get attention from others/adults around you? Could you have gotten up from your chair and moved? Could you have gotten up and told the teacher you needed to be excused?

This is good advice. I feel like schools should emphasize these strategies and be as specific about them as you were. The standard directive to tell the teacher is vague, and it's not always that simple. And nobody wants to be a snitch.

Even if you get in trouble for getting out of your seat, you might at least have a chance to explain why, and if you end up getting in trouble anyway, it won't be for getting physical.


ricottapie t1_jdfg9qp wrote

I know that they have to follow protocol, but they often do so at the expense of common sense. Someone kicks your chair, refuses to stop when asked, and continues kicking while laughing at you for trying to stop them, and you're supposed to act like it doesn't bother you? Kudos to those who are able to, but I also don't blame the ones who literally strike back.

That said, you can't just go around kicking and punching your way through life. It sounds as though OP knows this, I just want to clarify that I'm not saying that you need to knock the teeth out of everyone who looks at you sideways. It's in your best interest to learn how to handle difficult people. In some situations, ignoring them does work, and you get to preserve yourself mentally and physically. Sometimes, you just have to keep your mouth shut and let them learn on their own. And if they never learn, then, well, sucks to be them.

Edited for a missing word


ricottapie t1_jd9cazl wrote

From the 1979 interview, as cited on Wiki: >Before Serpico, you were up for Best Supporting Actor for The Godfather. Do you feel you were in the wrong category?

>Pacino: Oh, sure. Definitely. That was outrageous. It's things like that that get you a little sour. I decided to pass the ceremonies by. There were certain people around me who wanted to write a letter, who wanted me to announce that I would not accept the nomination. I would always say, "Let it go. Let it go. Don't make waves." But then, even though I didn't go, I watched it on TV. I felt bad. I didn't care for that kind of contradiction.

Sounds like he was encouraged to boycott it but didn't follow through on an official level. He just didn't show up. That could be taken as a statement in itself, but he wasn't one for public appearances or doing a lot of press, so it probably didn't even register with those not in the know as a rebuff. And then he felt bad, haha.

Edited to close the quotation marks


ricottapie t1_jabcwzx wrote

Peter Gabriel's Us has gotten me through some rough patches. It's great to listen to at any time, but especially when you want to let the music in and have it go to work for you.

Some sweet, dreamy, and sometimes sad album recs:

Song to a Seagull, Joni Mitchell

Parallelograms, Linda Perhacs

There Are No Saints; Plastic Grave, Siobhan Wilson

Future Games, Fleetwood Mac (the title track, maybe not so much. Everything else, I recommend 😂)

Never For Ever; Aerial, Kate Bush

Hope some of these help! Take your time healing inside and out ❤️


ricottapie t1_j9b5j3k wrote

Yeah, but with our exposure to American and international media and history being as high as it is, you'd think that it would've come up before. At the same time, a lot of Canadians were, and remain, woefully (maybe wilfully!) unaware of some our own history, so...

But I know now.