samzimms

samzimms t1_iuk7799 wrote

You can't afford the trip and made the call not to go. There really isn't anything to talk to him about. I know you feel disappointed, but you had to make the decision based on lack of funds. You don't expect them to all cancel the trip because of that, do you?

Also, he should not feel obligated to pay your way. So there is nothing to say about that either.

Wish him off, tell him to have a great time, let him know you will miss him and wish you could be there, too. Spend the time doing some things you'd like to do just for you, visiting other friends, etc.

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samzimms t1_iuk4otj wrote

You will definitely have better relationships going forward. If you are upset by your behavior, apologize to her and let her know this situation made you look closely at yourself and recognize you need to change a few things. At the same time, you could also tell her that you didn't like what she did and you want to be in a relationship with someone who respects her partner and doesn't do things that look so questionable.

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samzimms t1_iuk3jdm wrote

You two are young and in university, so both have a lot to learn about relationships. However, you are not all to blame here.

If you are in a committed relationship, you do not go to another room with another guy, lock the door, and not answer it when your bf comes looking for you. This is inappropriate.

Yes, you overreacted by getting angry and banging on the door, etc. But you are not wrong for being upset that she was in the bedroom with him. She should have explained the situation to you first, so you were okay with it. Or agreed to text to him the next day about whatever was so important.

When you are a couple, you should always consider your partner. She did not do that. You overreacted in response.

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samzimms t1_iujhpbi wrote

I think this depends on your age and the seriouness of your relationship. If you are young, still live at home, etc, then I can see prioritizing your mom's birthday.

But as you get older and enter into serious, committed relationships, then that will usually take priority. In that case, I would go on the trip and see your mom on the evening of Jan 1 or even the next day.

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samzimms t1_iujc9fy wrote

If you really don't want to wear the shirt, being honest with him is the way to go. Thank him for the gift and let him know how much you appreciate his thoughtfulness. Then tell him the shirt isn't your style and you'd like to exchange it for something you would be able to wear more often. He can choose to be hurt or he can be a grown-up about it. It's just a shirt.

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samzimms t1_iuj8zfs wrote

I mean, you had an agreement. It was a stupid agreement, because now you do not like the name he picked. At this point I think you can just ask him to reconsider that name, but if he insists then a nickname is a good way to handle it. Or tell him you are not honoring your agreement and the two of you will need to come up with a name you both like. He might be very upset by that.

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