sherriffflood
sherriffflood t1_je0dd3r wrote
Reply to comment by fickle_north in At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me by faithless_serene
Must have looked awkward with your trousers round your ankles
sherriffflood t1_je0b3y6 wrote
When you feel the burn and aren’t anywhere near a gym
sherriffflood t1_jdt9v60 wrote
259?!! Were they playing in the back garden??
sherriffflood t1_jdnkwy5 wrote
I checked in to a hotel once, and as a religious and modest person, I asked the receptionist to make the porn on tv disabled. ‘you sick bastard’ she said
sherriffflood t1_jdhfjut wrote
I was at the zoo the other day and saw a monkey sucking it’s own cock with a finger up it’s ass. ‘I wish I could do that!’ I remarked. ‘Give it some peanuts and it will let you’ said the attendant
sherriffflood t1_jdgt9u3 wrote
Reply to comment by latetotheprompt in I bought two Rottweilers and named them Rolex and Omega by Round-Watch-8228
He’s done 10,000 steps with both wrists but hasn’t left his bedroom
sherriffflood t1_j5w9nwk wrote
Reply to I got cut off by a taxi driver last week. I was walking through town today and I saw him at the back of the queue at the taxi rank. I got in the first taxi in the queue and said "How much to the station ?" "$5" said the driver. "And how much for a blow job ?" I asked him. by AdeptLengthiness8886
I’d like to see a modern version of ‘Taxi Driver’ where he’s an Uber driver and Iris has an onlyfans account
sherriffflood t1_j2d4og3 wrote
It was all ‘me, me, me!’ Didn’t care for it
sherriffflood t1_j2d07qk wrote
Reply to A man walks into a department store by sunflour4
A dyslexic walked into a bra
sherriffflood t1_iu81czu wrote
Shouldn’t it be the other way round?
sherriffflood t1_jeg1zab wrote
Reply to Two guys stole a calendar by Deechon
If you can’t do the time, don’t steal a calendar