space_crystals
space_crystals t1_iuicq29 wrote
Reply to comment by space_crystals in Do I end my relationship over this? Or am I being dramatic? by ThrowRA240922
Also wanted to add, you wouldn't be "throwing away" your relationship and your family. You didn't do anything. Alternative Gary filled with rage is the problem here. Regular Gary could have addressed it sooner, that's on him. The first time he found himself in the bathroom yelling at himself, he could have sought help immediately, instead he decided to keep Rage Gary a secret from his family.
Why is he taking on additional responsibility of grad school when he can't handle his current responsibilities? If he knew he had a festering anger problem, why add fuel to the fire? That's really selfish, your kids deserve a happy dad. I hope he gets help. Please be safe. I'm sorry you are going through this. You sound like a great mom. ♡
space_crystals t1_iuiawxv wrote
Based on the information you shared, I don't think you are being dramatic. I understand why you would have a hard time getting over some of the words that were said.
When you said it was like a switch flipped, it sounds like he has a double personality. He definitely needs help for his anger issues, but he also needs help for split personality. If he doesn't get help immediately, that's a deal breaker for sure.
As far as the content of the words that he said, if you think there's still hope, then also try couples therapy. Clearly he's having trouble expressing himself in the relationship. Also it sounds like the trust is severely damaged at this point.
A lot of people will probably say to leave him, I understand why you might be hesitant to jump to that immediately. Can you start planning your exit strategy without executing it just yet? Maybe knowing you have some money put aside and a safe place to take the kids will help with knowing you have options.
If you can't get past the split personality and the words that were said, that's completely understandable too. Don't bring up leaving him until you have a plan in place. Then when you tell him, leave the location immediately.
Be strong and stay safe.
space_crystals t1_iuj5az9 wrote
Reply to My boyfriend lied to me by [deleted]
Unless he made a fake LinkedIn profile, it doesn't sound like he lied. It sounds like he just tried to summarize his position and left out some of the details. I think that's ok for someone you just met.