This could be a blonde joke. Make the sobbing chick blonde in the story

Someone give me the punchline it got removed

I would throw sodium chloride at you. But I don't want to get arrested.

Because that's a salt...

Bloody oath, I think we're all over due for a big lez marathon

An Orc walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder,

The barkeep says, "hey where'd you get that?"

The Parrot says, "durotar, they got 'em all over the place!"

Cop: licence

Guy: don't have one

Cop: vehicle registration

Guy: what the fuck is a vehale resuscitation?

Cop: sir are you under the influence of any drugs or alcohol.

Guy: not just that mate, we also burned up a few Macca's toys and inhaled the fuck out of em aye.

Cop: sir I'm gonna need to check the trunk of your car.

Guy: yeah no worries, be careful there's a spider in the back.

Cop: holy shit!

Guy: see the spider yet mate?

Cop: sir, there is every drug under the sun in the back of your car! Including a fire arm.

Guy: yeah haha. Fun weekend when we got that aye.

Cop:....

Guy.....

Cop: youre fucken going straight to prison