‘Only two?’ John asked, doing his best to add velvet to his voice.

‘Yep. Only two.’ The Genie replied.

‘Yes, but…’ John now stood at the edge of the cliff, looking down on the valley below, before turning abruptly to the Genie with his best pout. ‘Only… Two?’

‘Mhm. That’s what you get.’ The Genie said unfazed.

Spotting a mountain lion that had been laying in wait, John - putting aside the sudden realisation that he was being hunted - ran bold as brass towards the mountain lion. He jumped with almighty strength, his pectoral muscles tearing a V-neck in his shirt. The lion growled and howled as John wrestled it into submission. Holding the scruff of the animals neck and standing proud over his body, John lifted his head, flicking his long hair into the air and his new shaped chin forwards, and asked:

‘Only… Two?’

‘Only two.’ The Genie chimed. ‘Your charisma doesn’t work on me.’

‘Well, why not? What kind of Genie are you?’

‘Your charisma only works on people who don’t know who you truly are. As a Genie, I have clairvoyance. I know who you are, John. You’re a man who walked out on your wife and kids because life was hard; you’re a man who lies to avoid your problems; you are a man who stole from a charity shop. You, John, are not charismatic because you are not being honest.’

‘Geez, I didn’t wish for a life lesson. Ok. I admit it, but you still owe me two wishes. I wish for unlimited wealth.’

‘You know, money isn’t going to make your life easier.’

The Genie adopted a superior tone, folding its ghostly arms and looking down at John with mild scorn. It appeared he even adopted a golden glow, but that was just the sun setting behind him.

‘Nope, but not everyone has clairvoyance. I can live my life however I want with charisma and money.’ John replied.

‘Fine.’ The Genie said, snapping his fingers. ‘And your last wish?’

‘To suffer no consequence of my actions from here on out.’

The Genie looked upon John with a pensive eye, his breathing becoming shallower and shallower. There was something with the man in front of him that the Genie did not like. It was clear he could not be trusted. Was it right for me to grant this wish, the Genie wondered.

‘Ugliness often comes from within. Soon, it will claw its way out. I bid you farewell for now, John.’

And with a snap of his fingers, the Genie made an exit in the wind.

_________________________________________________________________

I write a chapter for two books and post them Tuesday and Thursday on my SubStack:

https://itsgottobedone.substack.com/

It’s early days, so I’m still working out the kinks.

Not OP, but let's have a go!

You were sitting quite innocently at your desk, on one of those prototypical square chairs. The type that are designed for people with square asses and unnaturally straight backs. Or people whose body fits the shape that they apply themselves to. The kind of chair that you could make out of a giant paperclip if you bend it right.

It's an ordinary day. The coffee is brown. The sun is shining - beaming - directly into your eye. There are six emails wrestling their way into your inbox, all with the urgent exclamation mark. URGENT: We've ran out of coffee. Unknown what is in the machine. Urgent: Toilet backed up . Wasnt me. URGENT: Mysterious beam coming from outside.

What you wouldn't do for an excuse right now. Anything to take your attention away from the mundanity of work. Your lucky, though. The floor beneath you seems to be bulging. The chair your sitting on seems to have lifted an inch. You were reading the word Credentials, but now your reading the word Sexy. You should really delete that bookmark.

Standing up, it's confirmed that the floor has indeed lifted an inch. Two inches now. Three. It's like a matter bending in the space time continuum, or something like that. The chair is still standing square on the growing nub.

There is little you can do now. Your supervisor has spotted you and asked why your standing up. Nevermind he says. Don't worry about it and sit back down.

Don't worry about the space time continuum bending matter in the office? Or some sort of paranormal mole digging its way out of the steel and concrete foundations of the building?

Alright, you say. Alright. I'll sit back down. As if the seat couldn't get any more uncomfortable.

__________

Not my best :l

Started a Substack. Hoping to upload more twice a week. More to come, only one chapter there now. Check it out: https://itsgottobedone.substack.com/