Great- so it sounds like this isn’t an issue for you! But on behalf of other people living in nyc with kids I promise you most of us are doing our best to raise good kids and be respectful of our neighbors.

Wow you are really fired up About this.

Ok first of all. I’m sorry this upsets you so much you have to resort to name calling

Second of all, you’re right that we’re not going to agree. You should angrily whisper about it the next time someone comes to visit your silent apt building.

Lol ok aggressive responder. So I’m a man so I guess that makes me a Kevin.

Couple things: 1) they’re asking anonymously for advice in a forum so I don’t think you need to get offended on the complainers behalf. We have no idea who that person is. 2) they admitted playing in the hallway was wrong and said they’re working on being quiet with their kids when they go to the elevator so they are reflecting on their actions.

Ok and by your own admission you do chat in the hallway? How do you know it’s an inside voice and your voice isn’t carrying or whoever you’re talking tos voice isn’t carrying? You’ve never had guests over? Do they ever make noise coming in or out of your apt? Like I said earlier. I have young kids and we do our best but sometimes they make noise in the hall going to or from the elevator just like you do when you have these “whisper chats” you’re talking about.

I agree people should not be congregating and chatting in the hallway. If you’re having 10-15 people stop and chat in the hallway in your building talking about lunch then you should definitely complain. Unlike this scenario this person is being mindful of peace and quiet because they are saying they are trying to keep their kids quiet on the walk from the elevator and they seem to want to avoid another complaint.

Yea it’s a really weird ownership structure pretty unique to nyc.

Noise complaints are the painful bc they’re so hard to verify. Like ok are you practicing dribbling for the bball team bc stop you can’t do that in here. But sometimes it’s well they pull their chairs out for dinner and it makes a noise and I have to say ok well I don’t know what to tell you bc that’s a totally reasonable thing to do at 7 pm in your own apt (this really happened and we offered to help them buy and put down a rug for the chairs…)

Could be. We only have the info in the post to go off of. But I’m on the board for my building and the complaints I get from people are insane (upstairs neighbor walks too loud, I saw one of the door men smoking a cigarette across the street so he may be smoking in the building, my neighbor didn’t smile at me in the hall so they are being hostile,etc) Especially folks who are home all day with not much else to do.

I mean the woman never said hello to her apparently either. I’ve definitely been in buildings where I never interacted with my neighbors so can’t draw much from that.

Yea but I mean in the post they say they’re trying to manage it. I assume most parents try to manage their kids in public…

Only moms stop and chat in the hallways? In every building I’ve lived in I’ve definitely seen people of all ages chatting in the hallways with their neighbors or talking on the phone on the way to elevators at some point Or groups of young people leaving to go to bars and being loud. It’s not malicious but its part of living in an apt building.

Here’s the other thing with your comment: We can only go off the info that’s in the post. You made a ton of assumptions about noise. The person says she knows playing in the hall was wrong and isn’t allowed so they stopped. They’re trying to manage their kids noise when passing through the common areas but that’s not easy. I also don’t think it’s a requirement to scurry quietly through the hallways and wait for the elevator in silence. You’ve never once made any noise ever in your hallway? Do you tell people coming over to stop all conversation and wait until they’re in the lobby or your apt to start again? You’ve never accidentally dropped something in the hall that made noise maybe if your hands are full of groceries? When you moved in did you tell whoever was helping you not to make any noise at all?

They’re clearly frustrated / flustered so you telling them to be mindful of the noise is not helpful. They are mindful. That’s why they’re writing a post about it.

I love posts like this bc the difference in expectations between people who have kids versus those who don’t is so stark. It’s not black and white.

On one hand it’s reasonable to say no playing in the hallways. That’s a good rule. On the other it’s not reasonable to say you should never make any noise in the hallway ever. I tell my kids to try their best to be quiet when we walk to the elevator. We do our best but I’m not gonna tell my kid to shut up bc they got excited about something in the 30 second we wait for the elevator. It happens. We’re humans. We’re gonna react and make noise sometimes. The young guy in my hall sometimes loudly talks on his phone and my elderly neighbor loudly knocks over the fake flowers we have for some reason on occasion. You know what I do? I go help clean it up bc we’re living in an apt building and it’s part of life.

If you want to live in total silence move to the house in the suburbs or a building that only has one unit per floor.

This is the answer here. Even if you think it wasn’t a big deal apologize and try to build a bridge. It‘ll go a long way. I wouldn’t write to everyone, just your neighbor who complained directly to you.

I’m assuming everything you said in the post is true but make sure your kids are not playing in the halls and leaving toys out. If this person can’t be reasoned with and keeps filing complaints that are fabricated ask for proof (pictures of toys, recording of excessive noise). Obviously in that situation you had better be in the right.

Talk to your kids about keeping their voices down in the halls and have them do their best. There will be slip ups but as long as you’re just coming and going it is what it is.