It is the same thing as youe life right now. You got only so many years. Who knows, maybe you will die to cancer or car accident in two years.

Our time is limited in any case.

So working towards traditional methods to enjoy life will work, such as therapy, religion, spiritualism, life wisdom, hanging out with friends, meditation, exercise, enjoying a good meal...whatever gets your serotonin going.

Our life is always at a stake.

Reading is done for fun, and you clearly enjoy reading fanfic. ”Personal growth” from books is not a thing in my view. You feel like you gain growth, but there is not actually anything happening if you read some self help.