OP...I'm really more concerned about the lack of remorse you feel around being responsible possibly for the death of your collegue whose only crime was being nice to you. You seem more concerned about your reputation and social standing. That's the most disturbing part of this story really.

OP...I'm actually a great gifter. This is how you do it: you listen verrrry carefully to people. Sooner or later, they say something about what they want, what they like, what they're happy they found, their favourite candy.

When I was in high school, this girl in my class was talking to her friends about dark chocolate, how at one point she tried dark chocolate that was 90% coco and loved it, how she usually went for 70%. That's the perfect gift for her. Stored away that information. I never used it, but if we ever have a highschool reunion, that's what I'll get her. Another girl in my class (we were mostly girls if you're wondering) was always looking for an orange highlighter to borrow, so one day, I gave her an orange highlighter spontaneously. She loved it. One day I happened to have toffees with me at school, and one girl said: omg I love these! So I got her a large bag of them. She was elated.

Sometimes I have to give gifts and can't afford the perfect one or just haven't known the person well enough. I don't hang out with guys because in my culture, the sexes stay separate, but once I had a guy for secret santa. You can't go wrong with chocolates. I got him a bunch of really nice chocolates and wrapped them in a bow. There was one guy I would not have gotten chocolates for because he happened to mention he was alergic once, so a really thoughtful gift for him would have been simply chocolate-les candy bars. Other people might be super-tasters. Pay attention to these things.

Find out what people do for hobbies. Most hobbies have constant perishables. Painters will run out of paint and their brushes will spoil, so you could get them a nice set of brushes or find out what kind of paint they prefer. If you know someone who's a cook, get them a really good set of knives, or an innovative cookbook. Someone who likes to read? Get them a book (but ask if they've read it before!) If you're really confused, you can never fail with a gift card or straight up cash and a personalised card! There's not a person on Earth who does not enjoy a fresh pair of socks. Also, little gadgets that make things easier make incredible gifts, like those rolling tapes that remove fur from your clothes? Phenomenal for pet owners. A set of bath bombs. A pen and a notebook/journal. Coffee cups with ridiculous statements on them do well with anybody. If someone doesn't really know you, even if the gift doesn't wow their hat off, they'll be appreciative that you tried to get something for them.

Want to be a great gifter? Be a great listener. And don't wait for occasions; people love a spontaneous gift. They love being remembered.

Oh, and never, never say you're a great gifter. Underpromise and overdeliver. That's how you play the game. Come on dude, you couldn't have gone on r/advice or something before you did this? The sex doll was not a good idea, even without the sorcery.