What a pleasant landscape.

Wait a sec...what's that figure in the distance? Is it getting closer?

...yes...no...yes...I think...what is that...?

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...static...

Some years ago one Memorial Day weekend I was in bed not long after midnight and heard what I thought was my two cats bouncing around making noise downstairs. When I heard a loud sound like "fwhoomp" I realized that it wasn't the cats, so I got up and when I stepped into the hallway (my bedroom is at the back of the house), I could see a bright, flickering orange light from the front windows.

I ran downstairs and looked out the first floor front windows to see that the house across the street was on fire.

Long story short, everyone in the house got out safely, the house had to be torn down mainly due to water damage from the firefighters putting out the fire, and the verdict was that the fire started in the front porch furniture, possibly from a passerby throwing a firework, more likely a lit cigarette accidentally dropped or left by one of the residents, and the "fwhoomp" I heard was the smaller fire reaching and igniting the gas meter in front of the porch.

It took me a while after that to be able to assume a noise in the night was just the cats.

>The almighty doesn't have time to commute

Work from home for the win!

I really have to listen to the Murderbot audiobooks. I loved the books, and I loved Kevin R. Free on the Desert Bluffs episodes of Welcome to Night Vale.